2 + 3 = Happiness

11 YEARS OLD!

2011-03-08T07:46:00.001-08:00

Dear Caleb,

It appears that you are so awesome, you have pulled me out of blogger hibernation. We will talk about that much later because today is YOUR day.

When you were born, dad and I wanted to name you Caleb because we LOVED the name. Then we looked up the meaning of the name we saw "bold and impetuous". We looked at each other for a moment and then thought maybe you would be a good balance for your then 5 year old, quiet brother. For a while, I thought you didn't really fit your name because you are so even keel and not easily rocked. But, I have seen this boldness emerge in you that I didn't expect to see. It's not the "bold and impetuous" that I expected, but a quiet confidence and sense of adventure that is always brewing underneath. You aren't afraid of much at all.

One thing that I love about you is your attachment to the unexpected and your 100% focus and devotion to that thing. You are very one-track minded and you immerse yourself into something completely until you are done with it, then you move on to the next thing. However, you never leave your previous objects of affection behind. They remain a part of your life, but your focus turns to something else completely. It's a very, VERY cool trait about you. Last year at this time, you were into wall ball and I couldn't get you to stop. Now, you still carry your ball to school to play, but hardly ever do it here. For months, you have been into skateboarding and have great aspirations to become a professional skater someday, but the FOCUS has died down to allow for your current passion....CAKE BOSS. Yes, the show. You have been recording it and watching every episode. We've been inundated with talk of fondant and royal icing. Of course you would love this show! It's all about sugar.

You joined band this year and dad and I were quite surprised that you picked the trombone. It's pretty cool that you picked this instrument because a. your dad played when he was younger and b. we still have his trombone and didn't have to rent one. :) I honestly thought that your first concert would be a musical disaster, but was very pleasantly surprised at how great you all were and YOU were awesome. I honestly can't wait for your next concert. It's not surprising though that you plan to switch to drums when you get into middle school band...following in your brother's footsteps. You are actually very good on his drum set. But do you want to take drum lessons? No...you are dying to play the electric guitar.

I just think you are so great. You are definitely one of a kind and really bring a great balance to our family. You seem to mesh with everyone in some special way and yet you don't ever come out to the forefront. However, you are greatly missed when you aren't here...you leave a hole that makes us all feel incomplete. It's going to be really tough when you pack up your bags for college one day...but let's not think that far ahead. You are, after all, only 11.

Thank you for 11 wonderful years of making my role as "mom" that much better. Happy Birthday!

I love you!

Mom

=(

2010-10-11T11:54:00.001-07:00

I'm the worst blogger on the planet.

Meals with Micah: Home-made Pizza!

2010-06-25T10:52:00.001-07:00

We decided to make pizza (crust included!) and if you know anything about Caleb, he's the pickiest eater in the world. I about fell over when he said, "This is GOOD!!! I like it better than Little Caesars!"

The second pizza turned out much more professional looking (more circular), but everyone really liked

the cheese pizza a lot more. While the crust wasn't as perfect, it was much more thick and tasty. I guess there's something to be said for that hand-tossed, uneven yummy crust. Definitely a winner and we will be making this again, for sure.

Meals with Micah: Dessert! Yogurt Smoothies and Chocolate Covered Bananas

2010-06-17T13:14:00.000-07:00

Micah's been begging me to put this smoothie picture up. It's not the best as far as pictures go (I didn't plan), but you get the idea. Vanilla yogurt, fresh berries, frozen banana pieces and a bit of lowfat milk. They were yummy!

On another night, we made chocolate covered bananas. The only thing we'd change on this is to use thicker toothpicks next time. These

flimsy little things broke quite easily. They were super yummy though.

Meals with Micah: Chicken Quesadillas

2010-06-14T15:51:00.000-07:00

Micah has been very much into cooking for quite some time and I've been horribly guilty of putting off spending some time with him in the kitchen. However, it's one of my goals to help him see his dream come true to cook with me more often. Therefore, you will occasionally see pictures and possibly recipes of meals I have made with him.

I'm starting off with Chicken Quesadillas. We made these last week and they were a HUGE hit. No lie, they were absolutely delicious. Micah helped to chop up the chicken, he spread them on the tortillas and put the cheese and seasoning in. I fried them in the oil and he cut and served them. He was SO proud of his first real dinner and everyone kept saying how great they tasted.

We're on a mission to make more home-made meals and get more away from the processed junk I've tended to lean towards with having picky eaters. I'm discovering that as I place healthier foods in front of my children, they aren't turning EVERYTHING away and it's so encouraging! A few of the things we are working on now is getting a small garden growing in our backyard, a small herb garden (already going and very much used so far), and buying more of our produce from local farmer's markets as well as working towards purchasing our meat and dairy from local farmers. Changing our habits isn't going to all happen overnight, but making small changes will eventually see us healthier and happier. :)

Stay tuned for more to come....

Happy Birthday Baby...

2010-05-31T16:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Micah,

I can't get over how much you have grown this year ~ not only physically, but also your maturity level. The other night, I was putting you in to bed and we were talking about how people kept guessing that I wanted my third child to be a girl. I told you that I said, "no way! I want another boy!" and how happy I was to find out that I was going to give birth to my third son. You looked at me and smiled and said, "God gave you a cuddler." He really did. You are my cuddliest child and although you prove that you are a bit more "needy" than the other boys seem to be, your tenderness and snuggles are super special to me.

This year has been a big one for you. You joined Cub Scouts with your friend Nicholas and you have really thrived in the program. You just graduated a few days ago with your Wolf Badge and are now a Bear. It's been a great program for you to be a part of and we are so proud of you for doing your best.

As always, you are thriving again in school. You're growing so much in your writing and I love reading your weekend happenings journal entries every week. You are becoming much more expressive with your words and it's making your writing much more interesting and fun. Math has always been a strong suit for you and socially you are quite adept. You are the class clown and definitely known as the funny boy of the class. Your classmates all love you - you are really fun to be around.

The drama hasn't died down any more this year, in fact, it may be a bit more intense. However, this just makes the FUN side of you that much more fun. Your facial expressions are priceless and you have genuinely cracked me up many times. You just have so much personality and I am so very thankful that you are a part of our family. You really help to balance us all out.

I love the sensitive side of you. This comes out in mostly good ways. I do find that you are more easily frightened than your brothers, but for the most part, your sensitivity is so positive. You have an empathetic nature, you are caring and loving and aware of people and their feelings. However, you are also more outdoorsy and boyish in nature also. I think if I could describe you in one (hyphenated) word, it would be well-rounded.

I want to thank you Micah, for continuing to bring such life into our home. You are so fun to be around, you bring a presence into the room when you walk in, that is just contagious. You are the life of the party most everywhere you go. I can't wait to see how this amazing personality and extremeness that you exude develops in you as you grow older and mature.

I love you with my whole heart. The last 8 years of my life have been so much more fun because of you.

Happy Birthday Micah!

Love, Mom

Micah's Mother's Day Poem

2010-05-10T11:25:00.001-07:00

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

What is pretty?

Oh boy, it's you.

My "little" Jordan

2010-05-05T07:26:00.001-07:00

Dear Jordan,

Today is your 15th birthday. This is the year that you will be sitting behind the wheel of our car. To say that I'm freaking out just a little would be an understatement. But to say that I'm so excited would be an understatement too. I am so proud of you.

This has been a crazy year for you and there have been a lot of changes. Most of them have been physical. You passed me in height last year and now you're approaching dad. I look up to you now and while I always knew I would have tall boys, it's still a very surreal time for me to see you becoming a man in looks and in action.

Which brings me to my next point about you. You are such an amazing son. I would think that I'm a bit biased, but when other parents tell us that they are glad that you are in their child's life, we realize that it's not just us. :) Sensitivity has always been your strong suit, but I sort of thought you might outgrow it. I'm so glad you haven't. You have learned this from your dad. Many people look at that as a weakness in a man, but I say just the opposite. It takes a very strong man to show that side of him and not worry about what others think.

If there is one thing that I can point out about you that soars above the rest, it's the kind of brother and example you are to Caleb and Micah. Every family has their little fights, but they are so minimal in this home. I catch you, so often, looking at your brothers and just enjoying who they are. It's not unusual for you to look at me and say, "he's SO cute" or to tell them right out that they are "smart", "funny", etc. I don't know if you realize how much they look up to you, but I am so glad that they do. You are the best example of a brother.

You have grown up knowing the life of ministry and never knew any different. As you have gotten older, you have seen that it isn't always this way - friends who have most of everything they want, whenever they want it. As you are understanding more and more about our life of faith, you have grasped on to it and embraced it along with us. I can't express to you how much it means to me to have you say, "mom, I have the money. I'll pay for that." That is the epitome of you. A giving heart. While you don't always understand why (dad and I don't always understand either), you have not wavered on your love and trust in God.

You are continuing to strive in school, but this year it got a bit tougher. You have chosen the harder road with the classes you are taking, but you are still doing very well with all As and Bs. You are responsible. This is something that has always blown me away about you. Dad and I have never had to push you. You choose to do your homework right away and rarely procrastinate. You started a job this year - working every Friday and sometimes Saturday evenings babysitting. You've racked up some serious money doing this and have paid for some pretty big things on your own. Typically though, you're not a spender. You are a saver, which is a great thing to be.

You've always been multi-musical (drums, piano, guitar, etc), but this year the drums have come to the forefront. You started private lessons and I am blown away by your talent (and so is your teacher). I've sat on the stairs and listened to you while you play with your headphones on and just shake my head in wonder. You are ultra talented. I LOVE hearing you using your gifts.

I love you Jordan. I love being your mom. I love our special "hang out" times on the couch watching our favorite shows. I love watching and listening to you create. I am amazed at your interaction with people - of all ages. You are truly amazing. God is making you into an incredible young man and I thank Him almost every day for choosing me to be your mom.

Happy Birthday. You deserve the best one ever.

Love, Mom (we're both standing in bare feet in this picture...) =/

Double Digit Dotage

2010-03-12T19:26:00.000-08:00

My sweet Caleb,

You have arrived! I remember when I turned 10 and couldn't believe I had hit double digits. I felt so much older and more mature. I can see this in you too. You have a new look about you, a new confidence that just makes me smile. You are very, very special and I am so glad you are my son.

This year has been an amazing one for you. You have always been very artistic, but this year you took a bit of a turn towards playing outside. Last September in PE, you learned about football and really took to punting. You have spent hours and hours outside kicking a football - often to no one. You have grown to love being outside and we love this! From football, you found out that wallball was pretty awesome too and this is the thing we currently find you doing outside for hours. I'm sure it would drive some parents crazy, but I absolutely love the sound of that ball hitting our garage door over and over. It means that you aren't sitting on your rear playing video games all day.

A few months ago, you met your best friend, Jaylin. He's been living next door to us for over a year, but it turns out you were both so shy that it took "forcing" you together to help you discover that you are kindred spirits. You even look alike and could pass for twins. It's been SO great to see you build this friendship, play outside with Jaylin everyday, have sleepovers, laugh, argue and just become better and better friends. It's so great to watch.

You are still quite interested in Little Big Planet on the PS3. You have always been one of those kids who is focused on one thing 100% until you get sick of it and then you move on. This "fad" has lasted for months. I am sure it's because it's a creating game and you are constantly using your creative abilities.

Your nickname as of late is "snack boy". It is the first thing out of your mouth EVERY day after school. "Can I have a snack?" And if I'm not home, you call me and ask. You are drawn to sugar and it's quite a challenge to limit you and get the good stuff inside that body.

Not long ago, I realized that you were up to my chin in height. I can't believe how fast you are growing. It's crazy.

As always, I love that sensitive side of you. No one can tug at my heart like you can when you cry, because even though you are sensitive, you don't cry often. You are very even keel, not much rocks your boat, but when it does, you do your best to hold it in and your face just melts my heart. I remember the night you were so excited to have a friend over for the night and then he had to go home because he was sick. You sat on my lap and sobbed. You've never been super cuddly, so I love every moment that you need me to hold you.

Your sense of humor rocks! Lately, you are often heard to be saying in this silly girly voice, "Jordan...I love you.", "Micah...I love you." Then they say it back. You are very witty and I'm seeing your sense of humor come out more and more as you get older. It's not just "cute" anymore - you don't require courtesy laughs, you really crack us up and are genuinely funny. I love dinner time at our table. It's always filled with laughter and often it's because of you.

Well Caleb, I could say so much more about how wonderful you are, but I will just finish with this for now. I am a middle child and so I kind of feel this kindred spirit with you regarding this role in the family. It's like I understand you but can't put in words what I understand. It just is. It's an interesting role to fill and sometimes can be hard, but you are perfect at it. You excel at all that you do. I am so proud and honored to be your mom. I love you so much.

I can't wait to enjoy this next year with you. You are a joy to have around.

Happy Birthday!
Love, Mom

Back to the Jordan I go

2010-02-22T16:45:00.000-08:00

I have thoroughly enjoyed Atlas Shrugged and actually am still reading it...haha. However, I just took a trip to Kansas City and wanted to bring a book that didn't weigh 20 pounds so I grabbed the book I had been reading before picking up Rand's novel. Ironically, the main character in this book is named Rand...

Anyway, I am back into book four of the Wheel of Time Series by Robert Jordan and I can't put the book down. I'm actually finding myself not wanting to play WoW so I can read. I know...it's weird.

I've heard such mixed reviews of this series, but the majority of what I have heard has been extremely positive. It is consistent through book four, but after that, I hear different opinions of the series. I'm looking forward to forming my own thoughts on it though. Right now, I'm hooked!

Yes, it's true...

2010-01-02T17:27:00.001-08:00

I really AM still reading those two books on my side bar. The first one is quite long and I just haven't had the good fortune of sitting for long periods of time to read it (I know, I know, if I'd quit playing WoW, I'd have the time). The second one is so full of amazing info that I can only read small portions of it at a time and then I have to chew on the info for a few days.

So, it's not that I'm lazy and not changing my books....I'm just being uncharacteristically slow at reading them.

(and if you have no clue what I'm talking about because you are reading this on Facebook, these notes come from my blog which can be found at www.christinehays.blogspot.com.)

Burn Victim

2009-12-26T12:03:00.000-08:00

The following is a true story (names have been changed to protect my ego):

Once there was a young girl whose name was Krysteen Haze. She was accident-prone. No really...her nickname, growing up, was "owie". Let's start with the broken leg when she was 6. She remembers falling off of a cliff, but really it was just a 3 foot high ledge...I guess she fell wrong. Who knows? She did get very proficient on her "crunches".

As time went on there were multiple injuries to this young girl. When she was about 12 years old, she fell in a hole and bruised her thigh (the whole thigh - it was black. Did I say the WHOLE thigh?). Moving on to Junior High, her parents did what all good parents do for someone who is a magnet for injury...they put her in sports!!! It's a perfect place for an accident prone person! :)

When Krysteen was 14, she was playing basketball and an opponent ran into her with her glasses. This proceeded to cut a gash in Krysteen's eyebrow that required 9 stitches. This injury might have been the catalyst for many others (she DID get hit in the head, you know). More bruises, cuts and scrapes, sprained ankles, torn ligaments, a broken toe from being stepped on by a horse, and even a torn groin muscle. These are only the ones she remembers.

As she became an adult, the injuries tapered off. Mostly due to the freshman 15 and the lack of exercise. However, somewhere around her early 30s, she got the bright idea to take up softball again and it wasn't long before she found herself with a broken finger from sliding into first base. Yes, I said first base and that would mean head first, but to be fair, she was diving back to first base after taking too big of a lead off towards second. (all good softball players know you don't slide into first base - sheesh).

Things began to simmer down with just a few minor injuries here and there, until one day (actually, it was yesterday), she decided to make homemade rolls for her family for Christmas. Typically, this is a safe event for even Krysteen - she's even done it before - quite a few times, actually. But this day was different. The rolls had risen on their nice little pans the night before and were ready to go into the oven. Pan #1....success! Pan #2....success! Pan #3....another story. Here's how it happened that her fingers got lit on fire. No really. ON FIRE!

It is known in the Hocken (name changed to protect things) home (Krysteen's parents), that there is a lack of good oven mits...so typically tea towels are used to remove hot things from the oven. At least, this makes Krysteen feel better, because she really should have been using a hot pad or oven mit for the removal of afore-mentioned rolls. But no...the Christmas towel was just sitting on the counter, it was convenient and so she grabbed it and proceeded to remove pan #3 out of the oven. However, this particular towel had a nice little fringe on the two ends of it and while she was removing the pan from the oven, that fringe made contact with the element on the bottom of the oven and caught fire. Seeing as the towel was underneath the pan and semi-wrapped around her hand, Krysteen didn't notice that her hand was on fire immediately. She proceeded to move from the oven to the stove where she started to set down the pan. This is when she noticed the flames. Big flames. From a towel connected to her hand.

Her first thought was, "Hmmm, why did someone leave the gas stove on?" This is when the pain hit. It didn't take too long to realize three things: 1) the stove wasn't on, 2) her hand was on fire and 3) she needed to throw the pan. Running to the sink, she tossed the pan in, still holding the flaming towel. She then threw the towel in the sink and started to turn on the cold water, but there were such beautiful rolls sitting in the sink on the pan...it was important to save them first. So after picking the rolls out of the sink with her good hand, she turned on the cold water and doused her hand in it.

Her ego was hurt the most, but three of her fingers did end up with 2nd degree burns, complete with blisters. After 5 hours with her hand held in cold water (it was the only place it could be without causing severe pain), her family was able to wrap the fingers in gauze and all ended well...the rolls were saved....everyone thanked God that it wasn't worse and that her sleeve hadn't caught fire...or worse, the whole house.

I Love Christmas!

2009-12-14T15:48:00.000-08:00

Christmas just has a way of reminding me about the things that are important in my life. So as this Holiday approaches (MUCH faster than I want it to), I list the people and things that mean the most to me.

1. God ~ I literally would be a mess, perhaps not even alive ~ if it weren't for Him.
2. Steve ~ A man who has stood by me through thick and thin, for better or for worse, and who is constantly bettering himself and showing me hope each day.
3. Jordan, Caleb and Micah ~ I am so lucky to be a mom, but even more lucky to be the mom of these amazing, loving, considerate and joyful sons.
4. My family ~ I have been blessed with the most amazing family on the planet.
5. My friends ~ I have learned from you, found hope in you and shared many amazing moments with you.
6. A beautiful home ~ I often complain that I need something bigger with all of these boys, but I truly have so much to be thankful for. I love our home.
7. A car that works ~ Again, something I complain about too often, but we have been given the miracle Explorer that takes a licking and keeps on ticking. And the heater works! :)
8. My health ~ Not only me, but my family is healthy and we are mostly healthy all the time. God has blessed us with great immune systems. :)
9. The Pacific Northwest ~ No better place to live, in my opinion. Walking out the front door and seeing Mt. Rainier every day, the crisp cool air at this time of the year, trees, mountains...ahhh - it's beautiful.

Being in the ministry affords me a lot of opportunity to complain about the things that I don't have, the financial struggle that is ever-present in my life, and it's easy to focus on the things that I CAN'T have because Steve and I have chosen a tougher road to travel. But I am reminded again of the reward of this life...the people changed, the friendships, the love, the support and the smile of God on my life as I get up each day and ask Him, "OK God, I am yours...what do you want to do through me today?"

So much pain. So much joy. So much reward. So worth it. :)

Merry Christmas!

The Poser

2009-11-12T09:56:00.000-08:00

A little over a month ago, I wrote about the journey that God has been taking me on and how this has led me to go back and discover who I am and to accept that person. The first part of this journey was very rocky and painful, but then came a place where I really could look up and see how God was changing my view of me and it was beautiful. It was encouraging and exciting for me. I saw the potential of who God has called me to be in the future and yearned to be that person. The good part? I saw myself actually moving on that path to that place.

One of the nice things about God (and there are many!), is that when you are on a journey of self-discovery - one that is sure to be filled with pain - God lets you take breaks. He has rest stops for you to stop and recover. I can't say that I really felt that these rest stops were my arrival to the end of the journey, but I think I was somehow hoping that they meant that I was close. :) Truth be told, they were just God's way of giving me a rest, which should really affirm to me that there is something to rest from. I am truly on a journey and it's a hard one.

The current part of my journey is painful. I think this all started with me looking at who I am, who I really am, and accepting that person - with all of her faults, short-comings, beauty and ugliness. Accepting it all and embracing it all - knowing that this is who I truly am...the core of me. This was difficult at first, but I chose to embark on this journey, nonetheless, and continued on in spite of the pain that I was feeling. As God has revealed this "true" person, a process that has been embarrassing, thought-provoking and sometimes even rewarding, he has done so in layers. Allowing me just enough to handle and deal with, accept or fight, and then as I am ok with it, he moves me on to another place. Rest stops. He is kind.

As I read the words that Brennan Manning put in his book, Posers, Fakers and Wannabes, I was struck with sadness, embarrassment, anger, remorse, etc. I've wanted to be loved. I've had this need to be perfect. I have hidden behind my good grades, my athleticism, my music, my looks...all of these things have hidden the broken parts of me. While they aren't hugely broken and overwhelmingly powerful, they are broken parts and when you hide parts of yourself, something has to take the place of those parts. This is where the Poser comes in.

As God has revealed to me who I really am, he has been prodding me to reveal that true person to others. Sounds simple really, but wow, it sure isn't. I have to say that it's not like I have hidden this alter ego for years and now people are starting to see a whole different person, it's not that drastic. But I have definitely hidden for many years, I have allowed the Poser to take my place because she is much more accepted than I am. She is funny, athletic and smart. As she has come to the forefront, Christine has sat in the back, allowing her to take the attention. Afterall, she handles it much better.

Why? That's been my biggest question lately. Why is there this need in us to hide our pain, to hide our faults and our brokenness in front of others. Why is there this need to be better, to understand things we really don't, to show that we are more than we really are? Why do we feel the need to be someone that we know we are not? Insecurity? Embarrassment? Low self-esteem? Fear? Intimidation? Guilt?

I really think it's any or all of the above. Somewhere along the way, we begin to believe the lies of our enemy. He tells us that we need to show a better face, show our strengths only, not our weaknesses. "People don't love weak and insecure people." And so it begins. The hiding, the lying, the faking, the posing. And it becomes much safer to stay there than to come out of hiding and show our true selves or face our fake one.

A few months ago, I saw this part of me and pleaded with God to show me the way out of hiding. I wanted desperately to be true to myself and stop doing, believing and saying the things that people have wanted FOR me all of these years. Or more accurately, the things I THOUGHT people wanted for me. I started to face truth, and in facing truth, God reveals more and more of it to you. I can't say that I haven't fallen into old habits and traps since then, but overall, I am learning that Christine, as she really is, is the best person that I can be. Other people's expectations, MY OWN expectations or what I THINK people want me to be cannot guide my path.

I have been through some pretty hefty trials in the last few months and I'm learning that catasrophe doesn't really introduce anything new into our lives - it simply exposes what is already there. It shows what has been hidden underneath the routine of everyday life. Then trials hit and what is buried within finds its way out and is exposed by the light of God's truth. The decisions we make regarding right and wrong in our lives, seldom come precisely defined. Our steps are jolted by obstacles, and the crap that life throws our way forces us to make sometimes sudden decisions about who we are and the direction we are going to take. It's no wonder Paul says that we need to fix our eyes on Jesus. Paul knew that we would face "various trials" and our values, beliefs, paradigms...our whole life really, would be shaken and we would be caught unaware and possibly unprepared for what is in our path.

So where do we begin? It sure seems like the best place is with the one who created us....God. He loves who we really and truly are and no one knows us better than he does. Brennan Manning says this in his book, "If what God says is the truest thing about us, then it makes sense to follow him and accept our As-Is condition as the starting point." God knows me, he loves me, he accepts me (AS IS) and he already knows the journey, all of the obstacles, all of the turns, every rock on the path, what the weather is going to be like...He knows. He is all knowing. He is safe. He is perfect. The Poser doesn't like him, but that's because she knows that she can't exist in the same place with God. She is the opposite of truth.

With someone this amazing not only rooting for you, but willing to walk with you, there really is no better place to begin. So I begin again...and again...and again. It feels this way sometimes - like I am starting over. But as I look back, I can see that my starting place is just a bit closer to the destination every time. I'm fine with starting over again. What I'm not ok with is never moving...just standing still. The Poser likes to stand still.

That's fine. :) Stay there then...I'll be moving on.

Bedhead Rocks!!!

2009-10-27T12:54:00.000-07:00

The little boys have been wanting to grow their hair out for a while. For Caleb, it's actually been a good thing because he has such severe cowlicks that his hair lays much nicer when it's long. Micah wants to be like his brother so I'm letting it go for a bit. Overall, it's been fine and when they have complained about the tangles, I just remind them that this is what they want. I prefer the shorter hair on boys, but this morning, I just had to smile at what I saw. You definitely can't get bedhead like this with a buzz cut.

Nonetheless...still cuter than ever.

My 25 top Vacation Pic(k)s

2009-10-26T19:28:00.001-07:00

I took a boatload of pictures on vacation and couldn't fit them all into my blog, so here are my top 25 (that didn't make it in...)

Jordan

Caleb

Micah

Pooltime Fun

Such love

I'm really not sure

To quote Steve Martin: "Funny, but wrong."

Mmmm

I like these guys!

We seem to have a sad growth between us...

A closer up of the classic

On our way to Disney

Caleb makes the BEST faces

Jordan and Daron got along so well - it's so sad that they live so far from each other

Plain ol' cute

That sad thing is back

One of the greatest pictures of Steve's mom I've seen in a long time

Ha Ha

A great picture of Rod and Daron

This one just cracks me up

Trapped in a rain storm...we had to do SOMEthing.

Micah's face in these pictures just kills me (in a good way)

Seriously. Those eyes!

Happiness!

The unsuspecting...

Florida (many pictures alert!)

2009-10-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

Well my plan was to blog DURING our vacation - just a little each day with pictures included. However, while we were supposed to have internet access in our room, it never seemed to work for me on my laptop. I blame VISTA because that's what everyone at the resort blamed. So, now I am going to do a synopsis of the vacation and just pick out a few key pictures to include. We had a blast...here goes.

Day 1: Airplane ride. Micah was ecstatic about the take off until it happened, then he said it was a let down. I think he was secretly excited though. We arrived in Orlando and stayed at the Wyndham Bonnet Creek Resort. We had looked at pictures and knew that it was going to be nice, but what we didn't know is that it is right ON Disney property, so there were shuttles to Downtown Disney and all of the theme parks in the area.

Me and the Goober

Resort Lobby

More Lobby

Our Living Room area

Day 2: Today we spent the day at the pool. It was about 85-90 degrees outside and just wonderful for poolside fun. As you can see, the pool area was very nice.

The Biggest of the three pools

Day 3: More time at the pool and then off to Downtown Disney for dinner. We ate at Planet Hollywood. It was decently good food, but very loud and way overpriced. Surprise, surprise!

Micah is under the 7 tubes of the Lazy River - see his legs? :)

Downtown Disney

Steve and his brother, Rod (Micah took this picture)

I love this picture of Caleb

Day 4: Off to Sea World. This is the day that Steve's mom got to hang with us so we decided to go to a milder park - one that she would enjoy quite a bit. We spent pretty much the whole day here. Rod, Bobby, Jordan, Daron, Caleb and I went on a few awesome rides. The first was the Mantas, the new ride they put in Spring of this year. It was pretty incredible. We LOVED it. After that, we went on the Kracken and did this ride a few times in a row. There were no lines at all so we got right on. Both of the rides were pretty great and Caleb loved them. We also saw the Shamu show which brought a few people in our party to tears. I won't name any names, but one of them was pregnant and the other is married to me. Hormones. I swear.

Nemo and Dory

Hays Family at Sea World

The Shamu Show (Shamu has a twitter...)

It was an impressive show

I'm glad Steve told me the boys were trying to imitate the pumpkins, I was wondering

Most of the crew (from left to right): Bobby, Keri, Daron, Rod, Grandma, Me, Jordan, Steve, Caleb and Micah

Day 5: The boys all headed out to Busch Gardens in Tampa while the girls hung back and had a baby shower for Keri. I sent my camera off with the boys so I didn't get pictures of the shower. :( Hopefully, someone will send me a few. (hint, hint)

Daron, Joran and Micah - I told them they look like an Abercrombie Ad

The Sheekra at Busch Gardens - Caleb's new favorite ride (they dangle you over that edge for about 10 seconds before you drop)

Micah got treats because he was just a tad too short for most of the rides and had to miss out

Caleb - after the Sheekra Experience

Day 6: The weather was crummy today so we slept in really late and then headed off to Downtown Disney to hang out for a while. It was FREEEZING there. Well, Florida-freezing. It was about 60 degrees and very windy when we got there, but it did warm up a bit after we had been there for about an hour. We hit the other side of the area this time, making our way over to the LEGO store and heading through Pleasure Island. We ended the evening by going out to dinner at Cheeburger Cheeburger.

Caleb and Micah at the LEGO Store

LEGOS

Day 7: Today was about 78 degrees so we spent another day at the pool. We ate lunch there and just hung out and relaxed. It was just what we needed. All the cousins spent time on the water slide and at the mini golf area. It was a bit windy and there was pretty much no humidity. It actually felt like a Seattle Summer day.

Stevo soaking up the rays

Steve tried and tried to get a picture of me smiling at him, but it was SO sunny and bright and I didn't have my sunglasses, that this is the best we got...

So I took one of myself - counted to 3 and opened my eyes...it was painful

One of the other two pools

Day 8: We headed out to Magic Kingdom today and spent the whole day there. I would just like to say that October in Disney World is the best time of the year to go. The lines were mostly about 5 minutes long, but a few got up to 25 minutes. Seriously, it was no waiting most of the day. We had a blast on Pirates, The Haunted Mansion, The Jungle Cruise (they need new people to guide those boats, imo), Buzz Light Year (I won with 999,999 points). Needless to say, we had a blast in the 80 degree, mostly cloudy weather.

The classic "Magic Kingdom" Family Photo

The other one

Decorated for Halloween

No explanation needed, in my opinion

Cinderella's Castle

Boys :)

More boys

MORE boys

Our Favorite

In line for the Jungle Cruise

Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse

On our way back to the resort on the ferry

Day 9: We were able to change our flight to the evening and spend our last day at the pool. It was a perfect 85 degrees and mostly sunny. We were able to spend half the day at the pool, head back to the room where the boys showered and finished up their homework while Steve and I packed. We finished about 15 minutes before our taxi arrived. It was a great, relaxing, last day of vacation. The plane ride home was a bit long, but the boys did so great. They read, played on their DS's and slept a bit. I hardly noticed they were there. They are such amazing boys.

Caleb doing his homework

Micah's version of Homework (actually, he did an awesome job of doing his work without complaining)

It was overall a wonderful vacation. I miss the sun and the palm trees, but am genuinely happy to be home.

I'm ok with me, really I am... =)

2009-10-05T08:24:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about this Facebook/Blogger/Myspace thing for a while. I guess as I have been discovering more about who I am, I am becoming more and more ok with the me that isn't so perfect. I have grown up as somewhat of a perfectionist....I have to blame my father for this and he would chuckle if he heard me say it. He knows this about himself and anyone who knows him, knows it about him too. He lines things up like no one I have ever known and I have never seen anyone eat an ear of corn or eat a plate of food like him - it's an art. I love that about him and overall, I love the perfectionism that he passed on to me, it has really helped me in keeping a pretty organized house, put out great product when I worked in graphic design, it helped me in school to produce good papers and projects for my classes, etc.

But there is a down side too - I don't blame my dad for this either. I am my own person and I am responsible for me. I have become too interested in what people think of me over the years. I know, now, that this is just insecurity. We like to make ourselves look better and show the great sides of us. We don't want to point out our faults, why would we do this? It just lays us out there bare, exposed to the world to be ridiculed and laughed at.

This is where social programs like Facebook have become so "helpful". I can post all of this nicest pictures of me, crop the less beautiful parts, I can answer all of the surveys the way I want - not exactly lying, but telling only the truth that I want people to know about me. I was looking back on some of the surveys that I filled out on there a while back. Some of them might as well have been called, "what are your greatest accomplishments" - I kinda used some of those surveys to puff myself up and say all of the things about me that I wanted people to know, but they would never have asked in real life. It kinda made me sad. I know those things are meant to be fun, and I will continue to do them when I have the time, but I'm just saying, that I am realizing the value of truth, of stating who I really am and honestly...being really ok with the fact that people might not think I'm so perfect.

Some people have already arrived here - they don't really care. And I would have to say that they are the most beautiful people I have ever met. When you can find your security in who you are, in Christ within you, and be ok with all of your strengths AND faults, you are confident, beautiful and contagious. I want people to want to be around me because I am me, nothing hidden, lots of brokenness, but all the confidence in the world. I'm really becoming ok with who I am...and honestly, you can take it or leave it. It doesn't matter to me. I don't want to be a jerk, I want you to like me, but you liking me doesn't define me anymore. :)

So, here I am going to post a few pictures of me that I would never normally post on the internet...they are the ones I avoid when I look to post things on facebook. I know this blog will end up on my facebook page too, I have it planned that way. I have to be honest though, the really bad pictures of me never even make it to my computer, so these are the worst of what is on there and I know that a lot of people will say, "these are bad pictures?" but I have reasons (I will try to explain) why I didn't post them. And like I said, the REALLY bad ones never made it off my camera...but I think you will get my point.

Right in the middle of a bite, Jordan took a picture of me. The face is, "are you kidding me?"

Our day at the zoo, this was just a bad picture overall, but it didn't flatter me either, so I'm posting it here.

Honestly, I thought this was a good picture of me when I took it, but I never posted it cause my hair is, well, who knows what happened there...and I think my teeth look yellow. I was also about 20 pounds heavier so I didn't like it.

I didn't post this one because I have no make up on and thought I look tired. I guess there should be something said for the fact that I actually went to the Rainforest Cafe without makeup...

This one needs no explanation, in my opinion.

Sad that I went through the effort to do a half marathon and never posted this picture because I think my arms look fat in it.

Yep, uh huh...nice.

The part of our pictures from Kansas City that no one ever saw. I cropped this one the second I saw it. I look 5 months pregnant in it. Of course, it's how my dress is laying and the way I am standing, but I was also, again, 20 pounds heavier than I am now and was very self-conscious about it.

Christmas morning - I'm looking at Jordan (who should be very thankful I cropped him out). I fear that this is a look that my children see quite often from me.

And the truth shall set you free...

2009-10-03T22:44:00.000-07:00

We have all heard it said, "be careful what you ask for or you just might get it." I have been on a month+ journey because of this very phrase. I asked God for some clarification in my life and he said, "ok, you asked, get ready, cause here we go!"

It started with me asking God to reveal more truth to me, to show me my brokenness and to take me on a journey with him. Not with other people guiding me, but with just him. I have, for so long, ridden on other people's experiences with God. I mean, when you are married to a man like Steve Hays, who studies God's word daily, preaches it countless times throughout the year, rubs shoulders with people of great caliber, disciples people one-on-one and just all-around LOVES God with all of his heart, I will be honest...it's hard not to let those experiences be enough for me and for our family.

But God had really tugged on me and my identity. I was realizing that I was existing more as a title than as me. I was wife, mom, sister, daughter, friend, etc. and I found myself lost in roles rather than in who I am. It was this realization that led me on my quest with God. It led me to ask the questions, "Isn't there more to me? Who do you think I am God? Who is Christine? What is my purpose? Will you dig deep within me and tear out the crap so that I can see who is really there?" And God began to answer those questions.

I don't want to go into detail about what exactly God showed me. It's pretty personal. But I will tell you that God did open my eyes. He showed me truth. He revealed some pretty ugly things in me and as I offered those things up to God and asked him to remove them, I thought about it. I don't want God to just remove the ugliness from my life, I want to learn from it first. I want to suck every morsel out of those things that have been trapping me and find out WHY I let them in, WHY they are there.

Most of my life, I have been told that Christ paid the price for my sins - which is true. But I also was told that all that I have done is "under the blood", "forgotten and so I need to remember them no more". Well, what I found was only condemnation, because I still remembered it all - and then would feel guilty for remembering. It caused me to feel like I couldn't measure up, I wasn't good enough, I wasn't spiritual enough because I couldn't let things go....what I have been learning is that I needed to do the opposite! Not ignore my sin or sweep it under the rug, but to embrace my choices, see what they have done, confess my sin, but stand firm in who I am. The choices that I have made have defined me, they have made me into who I am. Would I go back and change some of them? YES, for sure...BUT, only if there were another, easier, less painful way to achieve who I am today because of those choices. You see, the decisions and the paths that I have chosen, have built my character, caused me to walk down roads I may not have normally chosen and it's these paths that have seasoned me and made me into who I am. It's the why of my choices, not the what that is so important. And when you know the why, you can stand on your own two feet and own your decisions.

So, I stand today, having learned more about me. Having learned that, as Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12, that I can embrace my weaknesses and that the weaknesses and faults in me provide an avenue for God's power to rest in me. They provide a vessel for God to use, to show others the avenue of freedom, and they reveal more and more of me to me every moment. I used to run from this, now I run TO it. Not because I like pain or because I enjoy seeing the junk in my life exposed, but because I know that in this exposure, I am making myself vulnerable and open to be used by God. If I cannot be used, if I cannot be here on this earth for a purpose - higher than my own, higher than just being a wife, mother, friend, daughter, etc. - then why be here? I have to believe that my existence on this earth is not just a detour to the real thing. I believe that it is for great purpose, to learn, to grow to become all that I am meant to be.

God provides hope. And it's this hope that I set my feet on - this sure footing - to find my security and to not waver. Others may tell me that I'm crazy. Others may say that my avenue to truth is out there or wrong. Others may preach at me...but this is my journey, it's my freedom, it's my experience with God. I own it, all of it. All the choices, the consequences and rewards from those choices. I desire to make the right ones and to stand firm in them. I will make mistakes, I will choose wrong, I will choose right, I will listen to God and do my best to follow him. And in the end, I will be the one to stand in front of God to account for my decisions and the path that I chose. Me. No one else.

I am by no means done with this journey. It really has only just begun. But I am excited. Thrilled to know more, fine with embracing the pain in the revelation, reconciled with the fact that to find the deeper and most intimate parts of me requires sacrifice, pain and trials. But I also know that the joy on the other side is worth it. The me that I find in giving up and giving in, is the me that can make a difference - in my own life, my family, friends, strangers, everyone.

And so I embrace truth, this truth that reveals it all, beautiful and ugly, powerful and weak, painful and soothing. I cling to truth, God's truth, because it's only here that true freedom will come to me....and the truth will set me free.

Our little Cub Scout

2009-10-02T13:21:00.000-07:00

I'm not really sure why none of our kids have ever been in Boy Scouts, but they just never have. However, Micah had the opportunity to join Cub Scouts this year with very minimal cost to us and since his best friend was in it, he jumped at the chance. He just had his first Den meeting this week, but he is already learning a lot and really enjoying it. His uniform isn't quite complete yet and the shirt he got is HUGE on him, but grandma helped sew patches on for us and he's starting to look quite official.

I snapped a few pictures of our little blondie - I may be biased, but I think he's adorable. Dad got in on the action too...So sweet! :)

Hot Days - Cool House

2009-08-04T10:40:00.000-07:00

Well, most people know (because it was all over the news) that Seattle just had a boatload of weather. Hot weather. I know that some of you in the hotter parts of the country laughed and thought we were wimps, but I just want to remind you that we don't have this kind of heat - EVER - and therefore, 99% of our homes aren't prepared for it. We don't have central air and most of our homes aren't insulated for extreme weather conditions. They are insulated, but not to the extreme. Therefore, when it hit 100+ degrees this past week, many people had homes that felt hotter inside than it was outside.

Now, I am not ashamed to admit it. I'm a wimp when it comes to heat. Well, I'm a wimp when it comes to cold too. I am pretty happy in the Northwest. I'm spoiled and like my weather to be anywhere between 50-75, which it typically is in the Seattle area. We have a few months of under 50 and a few months of over 75, but pretty much the rest of the year falls in this window of comfort for me.

Steve and I have had an air conditioner in our bedroom window for 2 years. There are three reasons for this. 1) We put it in two years ago and it's on the second floor. It's not something you just pop in and out of the window - it takes effort and therefore, it's just easier to leave there. 2) Our bedroom window is the only window in the house that faces another house. And the way they situated the window is such that if you have the blinds open and the light on, you can see our bed - all of it. It really leaves very little room for leaving the blinds and window open, if you catch my drift. 3) We like our room cold and we like noise when we sleep. Therefore, if we're not using the A/C, we turn on the fan.

Well, in this extreme heat, our little air conditioner decided that it was being way overworked and chose to fail us in our time of extreme need. So we went on a mission - to find another one. I say mission because if you were at all in this area when the heat hit, you know that air conditioners were selling out by the masses and people were actually camping stores like home depot for HOURS to get one. So early in the week, before the REAL heat hit us, Steve and I decided (I actually think I decided and Steve went along to make the wife happy), that we needed to find one to put in our downstairs window. This led to much calling and a 4 hour "date" in the car to Bellingham. Yes, I did say Bellingham. Turns out that they were the only Costco in the vicinity that had any a/c units.

We were laughed at by a few people. We were scoffed at by others. And yet, we were not ashamed or embarrassed by our journey to the north for our pursuit of personal comfort. We drove, conquered, drove and sat in the luxury of our cool home. A few days later when the true heat descended on the city, the phone calls began to come. "Where did you say you got your air conditioner?" "Did they have more?" "Man, I wish we had given you money to get us one.", etc. All of a sudden, we weren't so silly. And behold! The Hays Home was a popular place to visit! :)

I admit, I did feel a bit guilty at times, sitting in my home and actually having to don a sweater because I was cold, while others were fanning themselves. This, of course, prompted me to call everyone I knew in the vicinity of my home to invite them over. Most took me up on it at some point and it really felt great to have a place where people could come to get some relief from the heat. We were our own little personal Maple Valley cooling station. Kinda nice to help people out. :)

I have a part two of this story. If you will allow me to hit a serious side, I have some thoughts that really came out of the Seattle heat experience that have been on my mind. So check back in a few days for the continuing saga of the summer heat...

In the mean time, "stay cool". And I mean that in every sense of the word.

Micah turned 7

2009-05-30T12:28:00.000-07:00

Dear Micah,

For your birthday blog, I have decided to list the 7 things that make Micah Magnificent. Of course, there are more than 7, but I'll sneak some other ones into these. hehe.

1. You are a natural born leader. You just turned 7 and I'm pretty sure you think you just had your 17th birthday. Somewhere along the line, you decided that you were in charge. Not of just you, but of pretty much everyone that you come in contact with. This makes you a good friend because you are very outgoing. You are not afraid of making new friends and I love that about you. It also makes you a very confident person. You are sure of yourself and hold your head high. I love to watch you with other people. It's amazing how well you handle others at your young age.

2. You are the drama king. Your drama changes with your mood. When you are in a good mood, you are the comedian and you make me laugh a lot. I have noticed that you love to be the center of attention when you are comfortable with the people around you. You are often the performer in our home. I remember many times where you have stood in the middle of the room and made everyone laugh. The more we laugh, the more it feeds you. (reminds me of someone else in our family)...One of my very favorite things right now is "the face". You will do it on command for anyone in our family, but never for anyone else. It's frustrating because you can make me laugh instantly by doing this face...complete with the one hand sticking out with the palm up. I just want everyone to experience it. It's so cute.

The Face: It loses a bit in translation because there is movement with it, but you get the idea

However, when you are crabby, everyone steers clear of your path...you are a tad frightening. You often wake up crabby. This is one of my recent, favorite pictures of you.

You usually wake up crabby. This is a typical morning look.

Needless to say, it's quite the adventure with you.

3. You are athletic. You just have a natural ability to be good at sports and love to be outside. You swing a bat perfectly, have an awesome throw, can shoot a basketball without looking awkward, golf, fishing, bowling...you name it, you're good at it.

4. You are the #1 cuddler of the family. At least 5 times a day, you are asking to sit on my lap, you throw your arms around me and hug and cuddle with me. I told you yesterday that I expect the same when you are 17...that made us all laugh (just the thought of what that might look like). I am definitely your favorite thing to cuddle with, but you don't just stop with me. You snuggle with your brothers, your dad, your stuffed animals and your blankies (blue and green).

5. You are very compassionate. One of my favorite memories of you was when your Sunday School teacher came to me and told me that you were crying for one of your friends. You were very upset that he wasn't going to be in heaven with you when he died. You asked her to pray for him and both of you prayed right there. She said it was one of the most tender moments. About 3 weeks later, your friend came to church with you and has been coming ever since. We're not exactly sure of his commitment to Jesus yet, but he's learning and growing in his knowledge of Him.

6. You are an excellent student. Your teachers have bragged about you ever since you started school. Perhaps the perfectionism I sadly passed on to you has helped you somehow and I am therefore redeemed. You have the greatest handwriting and you read and spell wonderfully. You excel at math and really love learning.

7. You are Micah. I love the way that God made you. You are sweet, funny, squishy, cuddly, cute, dramatic, wonderful, challenging and amazing. You are my son. I am so proud to be your mom.

Happy Birthday my baby. I love you!
Mom

Sigh...

2009-05-18T09:00:00.000-07:00

I seem to have blogger's writer's block. I'm not sure if there really is such a thing, but I have to blame it on something. It might also be that I'm spending a lot of time on the computer doing other stuff (no, not WoW), so I get sick of sitting there. Most likely though, it's a time management thing. Ok, I'm officially out of excuses. I'll work on it.

Holy Smokes! You're 14!

2009-05-05T22:09:00.000-07:00

Dear Jordan,

I can hardly believe that you turned 14 today! A few people warned me about the pre-teen years and I waited for the storm and it never came. MANY people have warned me about the teen years (especially 13-15) and still you have defied all odds. (so far)

I have heard many moms say that it seems like yesterday when they were holding their baby in their arms. I really can say the same thing. It really feels like yesterday when I was sitting in the rocking chair with you, holding you and trying to imagine you as a young man. I remember when you got a bit older and your feet were hanging over the side of the chair as I fed you - I was amazed at how fast you were growing even then.

Here you are today, 14 years old and this is the year that you passed me up in height. It was honestly months ago that we were measuring the top of your head to my eyes, then all of a sudden you were a hair underneath me, then the same height and just the other day, you looked monstrous to me so we measured...2 inches taller than me. You have grown and if you grow at the rate that your doctor predicted when you were a little boy, you will peak out at around 6'4".

You are also very handsome. You have big blue eyes, sandy blond hair (thick hair like your dad's) and you have very straight teeth (underneath those braces). When those braces come off in 8 or 9 months, watch out! =)

You are an incredible young man. First of all, you are a straight A student with a few B's filtering in every once in a while. Dad and I found it very funny when you came home a few weeks ago and said that you had almost all A's. You were a bit disappointed about this and so I sat down at the computer to check the school website and see where you had "slipped" a little. What I found was that you had five A's and two A-'s. Dad and I laughed at your panic while he proceeded to inform you that an A- is still an A. You have always been a self-starter, self-motivated and good student. You are loved by your teachers - they can't rave enough about you when conferences roll around. You are very smart.

The most amazing thing about you though is not the outside, it's the character that you have. You are incredibly sensitive and loving. You, at 14 years old, still love to sit on your mom and dad's laps and snuggle. You love quality time and I personally LOVE our times of watching our favorite shows in the evenings together. You are so funny and silly and witty. You make your brothers laugh all the time. I don't think you realize how much they look up to, and love you. You are an incredible example to them.

I've also noticed how great you are with little kids. I think your time of helping out in kid's church has really strengthened your love for children and you are such a great helper and friend to them. I've just been so amazed at how easily you flow with every age - picking up little babies and making them smile and rough housing with 10 year olds, having them laughing hysterically. You are a role model, a big brother to many and a mentor at this young age.

God has used you in amazing ways. He has given you words for others, used you in the gift of prophecy and you have laid hands on people and prayed powerful prayers that have been answered. I know dad has been so blessed to have you along on many of his ministry trips - there have been times that he has asked you what God is saying for a group and you've given clear direction which he acted on.

Some of my most favorite things about you in this last year are these:

* You're very funny - when you make your brothers laugh, it makes me smile
* You love and respect your mom and dad
* You are extremely sensitive to others - there have been times where I've been crying and you have really taken on my burden and tried to help
* Your nickname for me is pretty - I LOVE it when you sing the "mommy is so pretty song" - you seem to do that almost daily
* You're smarter than me in school subjects. I still have some wisdom on you in life circumstances, but when it comes to science, math, history, etc. you rock my world
* You like to play wow with me - I love it when we are in a raid together and you start being funny - it's fun for me to experience you bringing joy to others (and I get lots of whispers on how great you are)
* You are very obedient. Almost always, dad and I have to ask once and it's done. Usually with a good attitude.
* You are amazingly musical. In the absence of my teaching skills, you have managed to teach yourself piano, some guitar and the drums. You have played in school band in percussion for three years and you are REALLY good. The songs you make up on the piano are really incredible and I love listening to your musical creativity.
* You're a very good artist. The drawings that you have produced - while very funny - really are quite amazing.
* You are very patient. You realize that we often don't have the money to do all of the things you want to do and what many of your friends get to do, and yet you are very understanding and not a complainer.
* You love Jesus - A LOT. It's obvious in everything you do.

I know that I'm going to think of a million more amazing things about you after I publish this - I could go on forever. But I'll end with this:

Jordan, I love you. My life is better because you're in it. I wish you the best 14th year anyone could ever have. You deserve every bit of happiness.

Happy Birthday!

Love, Mom

Happy Anniversary Baby!

2009-04-27T22:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Stevo,

I remember the first day that I met you - we were at Cedar Springs Camp in Washington and you know that I thought you were rather odd. Of course, you were wearing your Lime Green Suit and behaving like a gorilla - what do you expect? That summer of meeting you and finding out that there was much more behind the persona I had first observed, was the beginning of an amazing part of my life - a part that is more amazing today than it was 19 years ago when I walked down the aisle and said "I Do".

That wedding day was a bit crazy and one of the most talked about days by many people all over. I don't know if anyone had ever been to a wedding where the groom rapped to the bride and I would bet that they haven't been since. It was a crazy, wonderful day. I also don't know of any other people who acted out a scene on a cliff and then a graveyard on their honeymoon video, but we did that too.

We spent our first few years of marriage as youth pastors in Racine, Wisconsin. We had such a blast with our staff - hanging out at their houses and really enjoying life with little worry. Little did we know the storm that was headed our way - ignorance is bliss, they say. We were very happy.

I remember when you got the call from God to leave our security and head out to travel full-time. I was impressed that you asked my opinion and really valued it. You have always been this way with me and I love that about you. We have a partnership in our marriage and you have always respected and valued what I have to say. I just remember distinctly the day we packed up our van and drove out of the Racine A/G parking lot - that day we embarked on a journey that we are still on.

The next few years we traveled, without a real home, but with many homes. I never felt afraid and I never felt insecure. You have had a call on your life from day one and it's one you have been sure of. In 1994 we landed in Renton, WA at a church that became our home for the next 9 years. What a crazy ride that was - we went through some of our toughest times during those years. I remember who you were at the beginning of that journey and I see who you are now. I wouldn't trade the new for the old, even if I could go back and bypass all of the pain, and I hope you feel the same about me. We went through some really ugly stuff that rocked our personal worlds, the foundation of our relationship and our faith in God. Through it all, you never wavered in your love, your commitment and your dedication to us. We both showed our true colors and it really scarred us up, but we have stuck together and become stronger for it.

These last six years have been the biggest leap of faith we have taken and we have stood in some very dry and arid places. Through all of the struggles we have faced, there are a few things I have noticed about you...

You know who you are. You know whose you are. You blaze a trail that no one has dared to take. You are a front runner and a forager. You are a leader and an adventurer. You are crazy, amazing, gutsy and brave. And in the midst of all of that wild and craziness, you are gentle, loving and kind. You think of others first and you always think of me. In the rough times that we have faced, you have always been concerned about what I don't have and what you want to provide for me. You are a hard worker, a hard thinker and a faith talker. You are one of the wisest people I know and you dig deep so that you can pour out. You are a vessel that I know God is proud to use and I am proud to call my husband.

You are an amazing, thoughtful husband. You are an incredible dad.

The journey we have been on so far has revealed some of the ugliest parts of us. Yet, here we stand...19 years later...loving each other more and stronger than ever. You are amazing. You are my best friend. You are my lover. You are my partner. I hope and pray that we have a lifetime of memories to share together. I can't imagine anyone I would rather do that with.

I love you. Happy Anniversary.

No...I haven't disappeared.

2009-04-14T11:39:00.000-07:00

It's called TAXES (Sorry to swear like that, I couldn't help it). I'll be back after the 15th, I promise! =)

IMAROCKER!

2009-03-18T11:54:00.000-07:00

Most people who really know me, know that I love all types of music - yes, even country on occasion. I do have a few genres that I am partial to, however. One is jazz (old, new, anything) and the other is rock.

My sister discovered this band called "Red" a few years ago and told me about them and I fell in love with them immediately. I don't actually buy a lot of CDs, but I wanted this one and I have to say that I've pretty much worn it out. You can just ask my kids - I think Micah exclaimed one day, in the car, " Could we pleeeeeease listen to something else???" He has never been one to hold back on his opinions...obviously, if you were to ask me my favorite band, hands down it is Red.

Their first album is called End of Silence. They, for me, have a great mix of instruments, awesome voices, heavy drums, electric guitar and they use a lot of piano. It seems like a lot of bands have pulled away from piano and this saddens me as I am a pianist. I love that they really rock (complete with a bit of screaming) and yet they really know how to pull it back and do the simple ballad. A lot of rock bands rely on the instruments to cover their not so amazing voices, but these guys can sing.

Much to my delight, I found out that Red just came out with their second album called "Innocence & Instinct". I am usually a bit wary about second albums, but this one has not disappointed me at all. I think I might love this one just as much as the first, but I haven't listened to the whole thing yet, only about 5 songs. They really seem to have stayed true to who they are though and I'm glad because they really have a sound and message that I love.

Anyway, I happened upon this video today and thought I'd throw it in my blog (I made that sound really easy but my friend, Nate, had to walk me through it). So, for your viewing and listening pleasure (ok, some of you might not find pleasure in this song), here is a video of Red, singing "Death of Me".

RED - DEATH OF ME from INNOCENCE & INSTINCT on Vimeo.

Cuter than Ever

2009-03-11T09:05:00.000-07:00

Kid's Artwork. It's so individual, unique, special. It usually says a lot about the child - what they are into, etc. Most of the time it is adored by doting parents (and usually only by them). You know how it is...as a parent, you think your child is a genius (sometimes it's true) and they can do no wrong. Their artwork is amazing, whether it is or not.

I wouldn't say that Micah's artwork is overly amazing, but I would say that it is cute. It's that perfect kid art - you know the kind that adults make when they are trying to draw like kids? It's got this kid perfection to it that I can't really describe. It makes you say, "Awwwwww, so cute!" or "Ohhh, that's so sweet!"

Last summer, Steve and I painted our neighbor's house and after painting a nice green on the kids' playroom walls, we were standing around in their kitchen talking. Rhonda and I were relaxing a bit and Micah was "bored" so he asked for something to draw on. Because they had just moved, Rhonda offered him a box and a pen (I believe no paper was to be found). Micah proceeded to draw one of those perfect kid pictures. A little house, sun and a cloud. When Rhonda saw it, she exclaimed, "That is such a perfect little kid picture. It would look so cute on the boys' playroom wall." Well that led to an overhead projector, paint and me handling a paintbrush, transferring the artwork from the box to the wall and voila! Micah had his first piece of art hanging in someone else's house (technically it's not hanging).

Here is the playroom wall...

This is most of one wall, so it's a pretty good size

And just a few more of my favorite Micah Masterpieces.

Part 1 of a 3-part series

Part 2: I see a Jar. I see a chrysalis (and yes, I DID have to look up that word)

Part 3: I see butterflies

Self Explanatory and cute

This was after Halloween and moving on to Thanksgiving. The kids had to make a "turkey in disguise" (they wore disguises so they wouldn't be eaten) wearing the costume that they wore for Halloween. If you remember back to my Halloween post, you will recall Micah's very interesting ghost costume. Here, the turkey is wearing it.

Just a random, cute picture he drew one day

I also wanted to throw a few of the following papers in. I have a bunch of these, but here are a few of my favorites. Micah's teacher has been having them write phonetically, just a little sentence with a picture. I'm amazed at how much his spelling has improved since he started this (these two are a few of his earlier ones from the beginning of the year). His writing is also quite nice. I will translate these for you though - some of his spellings are very cute.

Today I had the horrible-est night nightmare. And the horrible-est day ever. I'm serious. I can't tell you my nightmare it will make me cry. This is a real story. No really.

In my lunch there's a Sunny D, nutrigrain bar, sandwich, and a cheese stick, and fruit snack

Micah
He now has his own spot on the side tab of my blog

Happy Birthday Caleb!

2009-03-08T22:56:00.000-07:00

(I'm stealing a wonderful idea that I've seen on a few blogs - I doubt I'll be able to do this monthly like my friend does, but I want to at least capture birthdays - I hope you don't mind, Jen)

Dear Caleb,

Today you turned 9 years old and you are looking and acting so old to me. I can hardly believe what a little man you are becoming.

Being the middle child can be hard - I know, I am one - and sometimes you have to fight for that attention, but somehow, you are ok without it. You often are sitting in the background, quiet and contemplative...I love that about you.

When you were in my belly, I remember praying all the time for you and the one thing I asked God EVERY DAY was that you would be full of joy. I can't explain how much joy you bring into this home. Even though you are so quiet and keep to yourself a lot, I MISS you when you are gone and there is a noticeable difference. You have a huge presence - it's an amazing gift you have.

Speaking of gifts, you are flourishing in your art everyday. I love the fact that you are given a few hours of video game time a day and you rarely use it all up. You last a little while and then are off to the table to create something. Your current artistic love is origami. You developed this interest from a little "origami fortune teller" that someone had made at school and it has just blossomed from there. The day you discovered how to make a frog, I happened upon your herd of them in the family room. I think I lost count at 47...they were everywhere. After that, you started searching the internet for other things you could make. On one of my trips to the bookstore, I found an origami book on sale and bought it for you. You thanked me 3 times that day and there has been an origami explosion in the house ever since. I finally had to put a large box in the corner of your room to store all of your creations - you aren't willing to throw any away.

One of the sweetest moments is when you discovered how to make lilies and kept bringing me flowers at my desk. I have a bouquet in front of me.... =)

The other thing you are VERY into is Zelda and it's not just the video games. You are into Zelda clothing, drawing Zelda and especially Zelda music. I found a GREAT website that has recorded all of the Zelda music from the various games with an amazing orchestration. You are crazy about this and can't get enough of the music.

You have started to pull away from me in public - it's hard, but I know you are all about being cool. It's not very cool to hold your mom's hand at this age. I can deal with it - but I do hope you come back to it.

You don't have a ton of friends, but you are very loyal to the few you have and they are very close. You are very ok with that and I think that is very special. Most kids would want to invite their whole class to their birthday party (for the presents, of course), but you want only 3 friends, no more..just those who are very special to you.

I have discovered that your love language is words of encouragement with gifts being your second. When you are paid a compliment, you soak it up like a sponge and you intently listen and say thank you. You are polite, considerate, fun and creative. I can't believe how special you are.

So on this, your 9th birthday, I want to thank you for making the last 9 years of my life so special. The Hays family is better because you are in it and we love you so much.

Happy Birthday Caleb!

Caleb's Birthday Lunch

2009-03-07T23:38:00.000-08:00

I had planned on taking Caleb to lunch for his birthday tomorrow (March 8), but the weather has turned quite unpredictable lately and since they were talking snow and we had NOTHING planned today, I decided to take him out today instead.

I asked him where he wanted to go and he immediately said "Rainforest Cafe". I don't mind this place, I just mind the drive down there, but I said yes and we planned to head out around noon. However, as I looked out of my window at 10 am, I saw snow and within a half hour, it was really coming down. That lasted about 10 minutes. My mom called and said they had quite a bit in Renton and I had heard about various places getting dumped on so I made the executive decision to stay close to home and go to Red Robin instead. Caleb seemed fine with this, so off we went.

Nothing eventful really happened, but I did snap a few pictures (they make my ramblings much more interesting).

Within seconds of sitting down, Caleb was making his menu into an origami frog

Of course, Caterpilly had to come with us

Oh, and now Biscuit comes too

Caleb and Jordan

Mom and Micah

Happy Birthday Caleb!

The Pictures

2009-03-04T11:23:00.000-08:00

I've been requested to show the rest of our pictures from Kansas City so I'm going to post them here. I was avoiding this because, well to be truthful, I think I look fat in them (especially the close up ones), but honestly, I am. I need to lose weight - no shocker there. And these really are kinda neat pictures, not to mention Steve looks AMAZING in them. So, pride aside, here they are...

I realized how amazingly short I am (or how tall Steve is...or both). I have 3 inch heels on in this picture

She was going to redo these of Steve with better lighting, but it never happened. I'm glad I asked to have the "bad" ones anyway.

We were at a Valentine's Banquet, so this seemed fitting =)

I REALLY like this picture of Steve - we thought it was cool that the walls were LIME GREEN

The "serious" pose

Side Note: It was about 20 degrees outside - I was FREEEEEEEZING

I really LOVE this one

So, there you have it - the pictures. We have family pictures coming up with a local friend here - I'm excited to get those done and post them for you too.

GOSH!

2009-03-03T21:36:00.000-08:00

Someone is neglecting her blog and needs to get her act together. I won't name any names.

I promise I'll get to it really soon! I have writer's block...

Caleb's Art has a place...

2009-02-18T18:05:00.000-08:00

It should be known by now, by anyone who reads my blog, that Caleb is an artist. The one thing that I love about him is that he doesn't just draw - he goes through these great phases of art and I'm constantly amazed at his talent. Because he keeps flipping mediums and moving on to bigger and better things, I've decided (so that I'm not constantly writing blogs about one child) that I'm going to give him his space on the right side of my blog. I will eventually give each of the kids a spot, but for now I'm just starting with him.

The Spaghetti Keeps Winning...

2009-02-08T23:13:00.000-08:00

I have always professed myself to be a good cook. I can make a mean lasagna, a great pot of chili, enticing chicken enchiladas, etc. I made a pot roast the other day that turned out really good (the gravy too...GASP!).

But, alas, I cannot cook spaghetti. I don't know what it is. I cannot cook a pot of spaghetti without at least one clump of noodles sticking together. I have tried adding oil to the water, I usually put olive oil and salt in. I have tried changing the amount of time I cook them and no matter what I do, they look something like this.

There are two large clumps of noodles in this picture. One is vertical and one is horizontal.
They mock me. I can feel it.

A close up of the dreaded clump

I think I have issues.

On Purpose!

2009-01-27T11:40:00.000-08:00

Overall, my children are well-behaved and civil to each other. Steve and I have really tried to encourage our kids to work things out on their own when they have a conflict and most of the time it is a successful, blissful and glorious thing. However, there are moments when their "fighting" escalates into something that obviously requires parental direction and this is when one of them comes to request help (usually quite upset and accusatory). If the situation involves one of them hurting another, my question is always the same. "Did you do it on purpose?"

There's a big difference between "on purpose" and "on accident". A HUGE difference. It's a matter of intent. In the case of my children, intent to harm, intent to DESTROY! If there is intent, there is a problem much deeper than a physical action, there is a problem with the heart. Purpose comes from the heart.

Perhaps it's my age, maybe the economy or my kids getting older...most likely it's my age. I had a birthday yesterday and although I don't mind having birthdays, they have changed quite a bit for me. I used to think about my age and what I might get for my birthday. I was quick to tell people what I wanted for my gifts. Now, as each year passes, I think I have more times of reflection than anything. How did I spend my year? Have I achieved what I have wanted to? Have I lived life to it's fullest? Have I followed God's purpose?

God does do things on purpose too. We've heard it said many times, "God has a purpose for your life." Well in the past, I've always looked at this "purpose" as general. Living a good life, sharing His love with other people, being a good wife and mother, using my talents for good, etc., etc. But as I've aged (sounds like a fine cheese), I've come to realize that His purpose for me is VERY purposeful. God directs me on purpose. He has intent. It's a matter of His heart - a heart for me to be used, to share, to give and to be changed in the process. His purpose is to see MY heart changed so that I will live on purpose - on His purpose.

I really don't want to live life by accident. Sure, there are things that happen that we never intend and some of those things can be amazing accidents that turn out really changing a life or sprouting new growth in me or another. But to live intently is to live with purpose and to make choices that aren't just random and possibly wasteful, but meaningful and intentional. It is the difference between a life that is full and one that is empty.

I Kings 19 is one of my favorite stories in the Old Testament so I was especially excited when my pastor shared on this scripture a few weeks ago - it confirmed this blog that has been on my mind for quite a while. I especially like verses 11-13:

11 The LORD said [to Elijah], "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by."
Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake.

12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

13 When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, "What are you doing here, Elijah?"

In this story, Elijah is running for his life and has hidden in a cave where God comes to him and says these words. Elijah is really an amazing man. As you read about him, you know that he can hear God's voice and has seen miracle after miracle. He knows what God can do. He has listened and obeyed over and over. But he has found this hard road and it's become too much for him so after sitting under a tree and wishing he could die, he finds this cave and he hides. And God calls him out of the cave.

You can see in this passage where a powerful wind, an earthquake and fire come and Elijah isn't daunted. He is not shaken by any of these things because he has known trial and been through it. He is standing firm. But he obviously knows that power of God and in the whisper of His creator, he is shaken. Why? Because he knows his purpose - the purpose God has for him...and he was running from it.

I don't know all that God has called me to do in my life. I do know that I have found caves here and there to hide in because I've been afraid, alone, unsure or hurt and defeated. We aren't able to control everything that life hands us. We are sometimes faced with monstrous trials and events in our lives that seem so overwhelming, that it's just easier to hide, withdraw and make a home in a cave. It's safe there, it's quiet, protected, dry, and secure. But it's also lonely. And it's not where God intended or purposed us to stay.

So how do you find His purpose? Well, I think it's by listening. In the midst of storms, earthquakes and fires (I think we call these trials), we listen...He speaks in a whisper. But that whisper is powerful, strong and firm. It is full of guidance, love, hope, and intent. He knows your purpose. THE purpose for your life. It's not general, it's specific. But you can't know it if you don't ask Him what it is.

So ask. Not just about the big things in life, but also the little things. Ask Him what He wants for you today. And then follow Him. This is the nice part - He never sends you where He won't go with you.

And His whisper is always there...full of a specific purpose just for you - all you have to do is listen and then obey.

Husband Tag

2009-01-24T10:19:00.000-08:00

My friend, Jen tagged me - here is Steve's story:

Where we met: At Cedar Springs Camp in Washington. I lived in Edmonds, WA and he lived in Minneapolis, MN. He came out to speak at the camp, I was in a band who did the music.

How long we dated before we got hitched: We started dating about 6 months after we met and dated for 2 years before getting married.

How long have we been married: It will be 19 years in April.

My favorite feature about him: His eyes and his hair. He has awesome hair - I don't think he'll ever be bald. :) Hmmm, he also has a really great smile and teeth - I'm definitely jealous of his teeth. (he lisps too, which I think is cute) Oh and his dimples - definitely.

My favorite quality about him: His amazing ability to draw people in and understand them. He can talk to anyone and asks all the right questions. He is an amazing "life-coach". I also love his patience with me. He loves me unconditionally which blows me away every day.

His nickname for me: Babe. Always been babe. In fact, in our wedding, he said "babe" instead of Christine in our vows. Occasionally, he calls me rooner. Derived from Babe-a-roonie.

His favorite color: Most people think it's Lime Green (for obvious reasons), but it's purple. He likes lime green too - legitimately.

His favorite food: Meat and Potatoes. Basic, nothing fancy.

His favorite sport: Golf. He loves it. I don't think he plays enough, but it's not a free sport which makes it tougher. He also likes to play basketball and loves to watch football. Baseball too, but usually just the mariners.

Who said the L word first: He did. In our church lobby in Racine, WI in December of 1988.

First kiss when and where: In the back of the van of my singing group when he came out to travel with us - we were on "tour".

Favorite couple thing to do: Sit on our couch watching movies. Going out to dinner. Spending time talking and getting deep (I don't do this enough with him). Singing together.

How many kids: 3 boys. When we got married he said he wanted 3 kids and I wanted 4. Then we had one and Steve was done. I talked him into 2 and then he was definitely done. I wasn't. The 3rd was a bit of a surprise (even though we weren't doing anything to prevent a 3rd). We got pregnant with our 4th baby, but God chose to take him or her to heaven. So I did get my wish for #4, whom I can't wait to meet someday.

His hidden talent: He plays the trombone - quite well. He is also an artist. He went to art school for 2 years before going to North Central.

His age: He just turned 46 in September.

His favorite music: I have to say, probably everything. Rap is definitely at the top of the list and anything funky. But if you asked him, I think he would say that his favorite is anything with passion.

What I admire most about him: His selflessness. Honestly, he gives so much to people - and somehow has a ton left to give when he gets home. He pitches in with everything - he's an amazing father, frequently has "boy days", gets really deep with them and is their best teacher - through word and example. He does laundry, dishes, cleaning, yard work, auto work...etc. AND he's an amazing husband. I've been through a lot in the past few years and he has been kind and loving and patient...he's just amazing.

His favorite pastimes: He loves watching movies and getting life lessons out of them. He loves comedy, golfing and reading non-fiction. He also loves hanging out with his buddies for guys nights and if you asked him, I think he would say spending time with me.

Will he read this: Yes, he reads my blog all the time. He tells me that it's how he gets to know me since I'm so quiet. Sad, but true - I'm trying to work on that.

Who I'm tagging: Anyone with 0 or 1 child.

The Udder Avenger!

2009-01-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

I am a night owl. I would even go so far as to say I'm a hardcore night owl. I usually head to bed around midnight, often later (usually when Steve is out of town). I love private, quiet time.

When Steve is in traveling mode (working more in ministry than in painting), he sometimes stays up with me and Monday night was one of those nights that we started a movie at 11:15 and rolled into bed around 2am. This is actually unusual and a bit later than I'm used to. Yesterday morning it hit me hard.

Steve flew out to Green Bay, Wisconsin yesterday and wanted to see the kids before he went so I got the little boys up an hour earlier with Jordan. Sometime after he left for the bus, I curled up in a ball on the floor with a throw pillow and blanket and actually dozed off for a few minutes - I'm not sure how long. I woke to the sound of giggling and movement close to my face which is never a really good sign. However, when I woke up, this is what I saw...

Keep in mind, my head was on this pillow, facing North in the picture. They were RIGHT THERE! (I could feel their breath if they had any) And no that's not dandruff, it's the inside of the pillow showing through - which it doesn't do in real life - a detail I find weird.

Now, there are two facts you need to know: Jordan collects cows - somewhere along the way, he found a love for them (I'm pretty sure it's a weird love, not anything real) and Caleb has a love for Jordan's love of cows. It's strange...I can't really explain it and not sure I want to try. Well a few days ago, Caleb got into a project. He does this often - the paper, pens, scissors and tape come out and he gets going - sometimes for hours. This one took a few hours, at least. When he was done, he had a box (made out of paper) that he had made. He announced to me that he had a present for cow and was going to give it to him when Jordan got home from his friend's house.

I'm not sure I could make a box out of paper...

Inside this box was a costume for cow. When he made this and showed it to me a few days ago, I smiled and told him how great it was. I was distracted with cooking dinner and didn't pay as much attention as I should have. However, when I opened my eyes yesterday morning and saw my little group of observers, my eyes fell upon cow and I got a really good look. As you can see from this picture, He has an udder on his chest piece (complete with arrow pointing to it so that you don't miss it)...he has a helmet with horns (highly appropriate, don't you think?) and he is holding a "milk" sword.

Caleb asked me that day if I would take a picture of cow and put it on my computer, naming it "The Udder Avenger". So here he is.

The Udder Avenger

And here, my friends, is the artist. They have a way of expressing themselves...even his hair is artistic. Ok, I'll be truthful - it was crazy hair day at school, but I just know that if he could, he would do this to his hair everyday.

Caleb the Utterly Creative =)

It's a New Year!

2009-01-18T09:58:00.000-08:00

I've been thinking about New Year's Resolutions for quite a while now and I'm not sure I'm completely settled on what I've come up with. However, I know that if I don't put something down, I will never do it...I have a propensity to procrastinate (which may come up later when I'm listing my resolutions), so I would rather put something incomplete down as opposed to nothing at all.

One of the things that has caused me to hesitate is that I usually commit to standard resolutions each year, such as 1)lose weight, 2)exercise more, 3)be a better wife and mom...as I stated: standard. It's not that I want to make it harder for myself, but I do want to try to accomplish a few things: not be quite so specific, be more outward focused and not shoot so high that I'm destined to fail before I even start.

So, here goes:

1. LIVE HEALTHIER
Rather than just say, I want to lose weight this year...I am concerned with much more than that. By living healthier, I have some goals within this goal.

a. Eat healthier. I am considering not dieting at all. "GASP!?!", you say. There are so many things wrong with diets, I can't even begin to type them all. I think my main one is that when something is addictive to you, you need to get your focus on something else. Dieting forces you to think about food ALL THE TIME! So, rather than "diet", per se, I am planning on just making good choices, eating smaller portions and not thinking about food unless I'm truly hungry. Of course, meal planning does require some forethought, but that's a different thing. I think this is a journey for me and I'm in the process of finding out where I fit on this road - what I DO know is that it starts with my thinking. If I find that it's not taking me down the correct path, I will re-evaluate.

b. Train for and walk or run in a half-marathon. If I'm going to get my focus off of food, I need to put it on something else - I think exercise is a good thing. It really helps me to have a goal in exercise. This will be my 3rd half-marathon in the last 4 years. I really find that training for something and being a part of something so huge is highly rewarding. I walked in the Virginia Mason Half Marathon last year and due to mess-ups on their part, I have a free registration for this year's Seattle Rock and Roll Marathon in June. I'm looking forward to training with my sisters and friends again, being a part of this event and getting in shape at the same time (LOTS OF BONUSES).

c. De-stress my life. Better rest, better oral health, skin care regime, reading and family atmosphere. The above two things are a huge part of this also - especially exercise. I haven't pinned all of these down, but it's definitely a goal. I just don't want to bite off more than I can chew so I don't want to commit to too much.

2. HONE MY TALENTS
I have played the piano for almost 37 years and have been singing almost as long. While I can play and sing decently, I have yet to do some of the things that I have always wanted to do. I have always had the desire to take lessons in Jazz Piano - well I did take one year after my 12 of classical, but it was only enough to tease me and help me to realize that I want more. At the same time, I would love to get back into voice lessons. I have gotten very lazy with my singing and it really shows. I can't afford the lessons right now, but I can afford the time to practice more...which is where I'm going to start.

3. ORGANIZATION AND DE-PROCRASTINATION
I can blame a lot of things on my problem with procrastination, but the bottom line is that I'm a procrastinator. And a blamer. I met someone once who was one of the most organized people I've ever known. She had a motto: do it now! I can't tell you how many times I have walked by clothes, messes, etc. and said, "I'll get to that later". Her philosophy is something I'm trying to grab on to. I've already been putting this into practice, and it has really been motivating to me. Jumping in and getting something done feeds the desire to do more.

4. ENRICHING MY LIFE WITH FRIENDS AND FAMILY
Most people don't know that I have dealt with depression over the last year (well they do now, haha). Depression is a huge monster and if you have someone in your life who is dealing with it, I would encourage you to love them and be there for them, but don't try to fix them. One of the hardest things to do when you're depressed, is to walk outside your four walls. It can debilitate you and can even cause panic attacks. I won't get into all that it is and can do, but I will say that because of it, I have neglected a lot of people in my life. People I NEED to enrich my life. I have already taken some steps to increase the "people factor" in my life. I have a tendency to gather a few close friends around me and really be happy with that. I don't think there's anything wrong with that - but I'm making efforts to draw those people in more instead of pushing them away.

5. OUTWARD THINKING
This is something that Steve and I have really been discussing for a while now and I want to take it to the action phase this year. When you are dealing with trials and need (especially financially), it's very easy to become inward focused. It's as if you get tunnel vision and can't see past your problems...they become so huge that you lose sight of perspective. This is something we are really trying to instill in our children. We can complain about the fact that we don't have all of the things we WANT or we can thank God for supplying the things we NEED and realize that we are blessed - so much more than most of the world. So we have the desire to reach out - in various ways...with our giving, our time, our excess...and bless others with it. It needs to be tangible. That's our goal for this year.

This is my list of resolutions - I plan to revisit it frequently and add/remove or fine tune it. This is my start, however...(and I gave myself until January 31st to get them listed). Not quite a "do it now", but definitely better than my procrastination tendencies! =)

Poll

2008-12-27T12:51:00.000-08:00

Apparently, there is no announcement when I post a poll - unless I say something here. So, here...I've posted a poll which needs input! =) (it doesn't really NEED it, but it's kinda fun, so check it out)

Christmas Vacation - Day 4: Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T23:31:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

For the first time in many, many years...we woke up to a white Christmas and just as everyone appeared in the family room to gather for Christmas morning - it began to snow. It couldn't have been any more perfect. My only complaint was that my sister and her family were desperately trying to make it up to my parent's house today and the weather was making it difficult. They did finally make it here safe and sound and it was great to have everyone here. My brother is still in Texas and couldn't make it up for the holiday, but the rest of us are here.

We started the morning with our usual traditions. We always have breakfast (this year, my cinnamon rolls, which turned out not-so-bad). I personally think they should have risen much more than they did considering the amount of yeast in them, but everyone seemed to just love them. I guess the fact that only a few are left is a good sign.

The finished and much loved (especially by Steve) cinnamon rolls

Grandpa then read the Christmas story from the book of Luke, in the Bible. Jordan was making me laugh the whole time so I grounded him for the day....just kidding. I think I was the one messing around - being a horrible example.

Side note: A few months ago, I took Micah out on a "date". During our time together, I took him to a store and bought him a cute little caterpillar. This little green creature has somehow become like a family pet. We don't go anywhere without him, all of the boys think he's "SO CUTE" and he has just somehow become part of the family (don't ask). Micah decided that they should make "caterpilly" a stocking to hang up for Christmas morning so they proceeded do this. It seemed to be the highlight of the morning that Santa put candy and toys in Caterpilly's stocking - it almost outranked their own presents. They were so excited.

"See mom! Santa DOES give gifts to stuffed animals!"

We always try to take turns opening gifts and we teach the kids to turn and say thank you to whomever has given to them. They do a pretty great job at that and today was no exception. It was really great. Steve and I always tell each other not to buy anything and we always do. I got Steve a few things he really wanted, but he went crazy and bought me a boatload of clothes. I know him well enough to know that he got an incredible deal if he bought this many clothes, but it was a lot. Lori's husband, Steven and Steve decided to go together this year and are now wondering why they never did this before - Lori and I are basically twins when it comes to taste and so they really helped each other out with picking things out for us. I think they started a new tradition. :) Fine with me!

Steven and Lori in some of their new clothes

I'm wearing a new shirt and jeans (yes he actually bought me jeans that fit)

Tracy, Les, Charley, Janessa, Jensen and Roodie showed up around 1pm and the house was filled with many voices and lots of laughter. I have a wonderful family and am always so happy to be with everyone.

Top to Bottom: Jensen, Janessa, Charley, Tracy, Roodie, Les

After they arrived, we prepared dinner and I'm sure we must have been one of the only households silly enough to BBQ in the snow. One of our favorite meals for family gatherings is flank steak and it was in the plan long before the snow was. It turned out amazing as usual - my dad was such a trooper to stand out there and cook it for us.

After dinner and a nice visit, Janessa, Jensen and Roodie were off to his mom's house for their Christmas celebration. The rest of us attempted to watch Iron Man, but after about 10 minutes of the movie, I looked around to see 6 of the 8 of us watching...sleeping. So we turned it off just as the doorbell rang and we were pleasantly surprised to see Crystal and her boyfriend, Shaun. (they did call first)

Shaun and Crystal (she's part of our family) :)

We visited for a while and shortly after, Les, Tracy and Charley headed home. As we were talking, listening to a PBS special, kids playing on their new DS's...noise, noise, noise....the power went out. It was a pretty funny sight at first, the only thing you could see were the three boys' faces on the loveseat with their DS's glowing. Micah exclaimed in his cute, raspy (and very excited) voice - "yay, my battery light is green". We let them play a bit while candles were lit, but after a while, we turned everything off and started telling stories. Our favorite Christmas present, skiing disasters, moments of torture by our brother, etc. It was really one of the greatest highlights to the day. The power stayed out for 1 to 1 1/2 hours. We sat around by candlelight and laughed, enjoying each other's company. It was almost disappointing when the lights did finally come on - and yet a relief that we didn't need to go start the generator. It was a really special time.

As people started to head home, head off to bed, etc., I decided to blog my Christmas Day. After being chatised with words and looks for daring to touch my laptop, I put it aside as we attempted to try to play a game - much too late and too tired for everyone to do so.

It was a wonderful Christmas - full of all the things that you want on Christmas day: family, laughter, surprise, exclamation, good food, friends, singing, Jesus, giving...

Caleb and Micah helping Matias find things in the I Spy book

So, here I am..a day late in posting our Christmas Day (although I will log the date as Christmas). This will be my last blog for our vacation. I will continue to take pictures and try to touch on some highlights when I get home and it's cool to blog again. =) I know this is mostly for me anyway - a journal of sorts.

Thank you for taking the time to jump into our vacation for a few moments. Merry Christmas to you and your family - The Hays family prays that you are blessed beyond your wildest dreams this holiday.

Christmas Vacation - Day 3

2008-12-24T23:01:00.000-08:00

Today we woke up to more of the same - snow, snow, snow! In all of my years living in the Northwest, I have never seen this much of the white stuff (unless I was up in the mountains, of course).

Today was a baking day for me. I am the dubbed maker of the crescent rolls. They are a bit time consuming, but they are so good - everyone loves them. I seem to do ok with baking and so when we were talking about Christmas morning, I said, "hey, I should make cinnamon rolls!" Just a side note: I have never made homemade cinnamon rolls so WHY? I would volunteer for such a feat on such an important occasion is really beyond me.

So the day started with baking and a snowstorm.

Other than that, there wasn't a lot going on other than waiting for my sister, Lori and her husband and son to arrive. The showed up early afternoon and we were very happy to see them (also very glad that they made it safe in the awful weather).

Because of the huge amounts of snow, Steve and the boys suited up in their snow garb and tried their hand at sledding down the big hill in front of my parent's house. The snow was a bit wet today and didn't make for high speed on the hill (thank you God!), so they took off to the park. Meanwhile, in the house, we continued to stare at the snow and start preparations for dinner. My mom and dad have always had Christmas Eve at their house with everyone showing up for yummy snacks and desserts. My older sister and her family couldn't make it out this evening because of the weather - we are looking forward to seeing them tomorrow.

The Dinner Spread (well the start of it - more appeared after the picture)

We had a very nice evening of eating and relaxing. After dinner, the boys opened their yearly Christmas Eve gift - new pajamas...this year including new, much needed robes.

The boys in their new jammies

After making them pose for yet more pictures (they are getting a little tired of me making them smile for the camera at every turn), we had a special time with Aunt Lori reading the Christmas Story and then we sang "Frosty the Snowman". It was so cute. Then we snuggled in and watched Charlie Brown Christmas (FINALLY - YAY!)

Aunt Lori and Matias reading the Christmas Story - Matias finished every sentence. It was amazing and adorable

The evening ended with Santa making an appearance to place a whole lot of presents under the tree.

Many gifts for many people

Then I ventured back into the kitchen to roll out dough for rolls and pretend I knew what I was doing with the cinnamon rolls.

Starting to rise - these are yummy

As we turn out the lights tonight, a glance out the window shows more snow drifting upon the lawn...it's beautiful and peaceful. The perfect ending to a wonderfully rich day as we remember why we even celebrate in the first place. Jesus.

Merry Christmas!

Christmas Vacation - Day 2

2008-12-23T15:22:00.000-08:00

Today is December 23rd. I rolled out of bed at 8 - late for me - and headed downstairs to find my mom already doing things in the kitchen. I thought I'd throw a few pictures up of my parent's backyard before the boys destroyed it.

I made pancakes for the boys - they are called many things: crepes, German Pancakes, Swedish Pancakes, etc. In our house, they're called rolling pancakes. The boys almost always roll them up with cinnamon sugar in them. It's really their favorite breakfast.

After breakfast, Steve headed off to the store to pick up a last minute gift for one of the boys and to our house to get a few things we forgot. The boys cleaned up their room upstairs and then Micah donned his snow gear and he and grandpa made a snowman. It was very sweet and they did a great job.

Micah sitting in the snow and waiting for a friend

Proud of his BIG snowball

Building the Snowman

The proud creators

The finished product

After that, I called all of the boys in to frost the Christmas cookies I made last night. These cookies are depressing to me this year. I have the greatest cookie cutters and just can't seem to find them. I have a Christmas tree, snowman, stars in different sizes, bell, and snowflake. I usually do them up really fancy and spend a lot of time on them. As the kids have gotten older and want to be more a part of it, I've had to relinquish my knife and my OCD and let them make their own creations. It's tough for me, the perfectionist, but I'm getting much better at letting them enjoy the creative process and I am learning that they taste the same whether they are perfect or not. So here is our final result for today. Not so creative (all circles), but super yummy and we had a bunch of fun in the process.

Frosting Cookies

Look at the concentration

Finished cookies

I relaxed a bit with my computer after that and checked my email, facebook, and then started blogging. Feeling like I should be doing something a bit more productive, I ventured into my parent's room (where the gifts all hide out until Christmas morning) to start wrapping presents. I really like to wrap gifts, but we have a habit of usually waiting until Christmas eve to do them all and then I'm about ready to pull my hair out, so this year I decided to start a bit earlier. However, while I had every intention of getting an early start, I walked into the room to find that my dad had cleaned the shower, leaving the window open...it was like the frozen tundra and I just couldn't bear to sit in it to wrap gifts.

This evening we had a wonderful dinner around the table - my mom makes a great pot roast which we enjoyed with mashed potatoes, corn, rolls and jell-o. It was quite delicious. After dinner, we opened a package from some friends in Georgia. How generous of the Maxwells to send our boys shirts (much needed, by the way), two games, a book for Steve and for me, and a check. Thank you so much Chris and Mercy. What an amazing blessing!

Now, we are sitting by the fire, enjoying each others company - boys playing Twister and laughing upstairs. If we muster up the energy, we may just wrap some gifts!

Christmas Vacation - Day 1

2008-12-22T23:44:00.000-08:00

I decided that it would be fun (at least for me) to blog our vacation at the grandparent's house this year. We try to do fun things and bring some variety into the mix, but we aren't always successful. It really depends on a lot of things...moods, weather, money, etc.

Today we arrived at Grandpa and Grandma Hawken's house. The snow has been crazy around here this year and it looks like we are in for a white Christmas, for once!

:) Who knows though - the weather can really change quickly here and we may find ourselves waking up to pouring down rain...that would be sad.

It's always fun when we first get to the grandparent's house because Grandma Mary is always very excited to see all of us. Grandpa too, but not quite as much as grandma. They are alone and so having kids in the house for Christmas is a great bonus for them. The boys always help unload the car - Steve directs them outside and I on the inside. We get all settled in and then spend a bit of time just chatting with my parents. It's fun.

The boys usually head up to play in their big bonus/play room and Steve and I get to relax...it's always great to come here. My parent's have always had a way with making a cozy home.

The Entry

Family Room - View #1

Family Room - View #2

Dad and Steve headed out to the store to get groceries and mom grabbed the boys and her crafts and they made some ornaments for the tree. I love my kids' minds - Micah made a cute little snowman, Jordan made a ninja snowman and Caleb a vampire snowman and a caterpillar.

Caleb's Vampire Snowman, Grandma's Snowman in a wagon and Micah's Cute Snowman

Caleb's Caterpillar

Jordan's Ninja Snowman

After dinner we watched a Christmas movie together (Fred Claus), and that concluded our first day!

A Christmas Wish

2008-12-21T10:01:00.000-08:00

It seems that everyone I know has really been hit, in some way, by this economic crisis. Some are dealing with it in small ways, others quite large. I personally know of someone who owns a house that last year appraised at over 500k and is now closer to 380k. It has been a hard time for everyone - we are all feeling it in our pocket book and many of us are having to tell our kids why they are not getting as much for Christmas.

If you are like me, you often look back over your life and wonder why God took you down a particular path, allowed pain and trials in your life or led you into the lives of certain people. Sometimes we can see (in hindsight) where He was going and why He took us there. Other times, we still sit in wonder, even after our period of testing is seemingly over. Perhaps, that's because it isn't. :)

I used to wonder - pretty much on a daily, if not hourly, basis - why we have struggled financially for over 7 years now. As I look back over our situation in ministry, I really (yes, really) smile over the things that God has taught us. Living on faith, trusting God for every need to be met, not knowing if you're going to make your bills from one week to the next...yes, I have to be honest - it gets tiring at times. But it gets easier. I think trusting someone who has never, ever let you down becomes easier and easier as you just KNOW that you don't have to worry.

Don't get me wrong. It is still hard. I fight condemnation everyday. I fight the words from the enemy that accuse, destroy, blame and devour. I hear those words everyday. It's not that I'm used to them, I just recognize them. Where I used to listen, agree, dwell on, focus...I know recognize, refute and turn away. We still don't have an overabundance of money. We don't have all of our bills paid right now. We still don't know how we will pay our rent on the 1st. But we do know God. We know His faithfulness, we know His love and His provision. We know Him as Jehova Jireh, our provider.

I think I have felt very compelled the last few days to write this blog because someone is really struggling. The turn of the economy has put you in a place that you have never had to be before. You have found yourself in a place of insecurity where you have always felt secure. I can relate to you. I know how that feels. I have been living there for many years. I want to tell you that it will be ok. I NEED to tell you that this can be the place of discovery, dependence at a deeper level than you have ever known, it can be a rewarding and enriching growth time. And notice that I said "can", because it's really up to you. God doesn't force His way into our lives, in any way for any reason. He has to be invited.

So I ask you to try something this Christmas season. Whether you are struggling from the effects of the economy or not. Ask. Trust. Accept. Rest.

And Give. I can't stress to you the importance of looking outside of yourself when the enemy wants you to focus on you. The Bible says that "..it is more blessed to give than to receive." Give of your time, your love, your talents and your money. Especially your money. Give out of your need and you open up a window for God to really pour out His blessing in your life.

My Christmas Wish for you is that you recognize the love of God in new ways as you celebrate the birth of His Son.

Have a very, merry Christmas!

I did it...

2008-12-11T12:54:00.001-08:00

You can kill me now Lori...but I'm not scared of you.

Let the Decorating Begin!

2008-11-27T21:27:00.000-08:00

It happens to us every year. Steve and I have the unspoken argument. He would really love to start decorating for Christmas in March and I prefer to wait until December. So we compromise and start the day after Thanksgiving...he calls it the "power ring" and it's sitting on my left hand.

So, in honor of rushing to decorate for Christmas, I have already redecorated my blog. It took me 6 tries to get one I liked (just ask my sister...) and I still don't love it.

I have an aversion to decorating for Christmas. I LOVE it when it's all done, but I really don't like digging through boxes, unwrapping all of my little houses for the village above the fireplace, putting lights on the tree...it's just a lot of work. So, maybe it wouldn't be so much work if I wasn't such a perfectionist. Maybe I should just get rid of my scroogish attitude and get in the spirit!

Anyway, Happy Thanksgiving to you and I pray you are celebrating with family, enjoying the laughter of being together, getting a bit fatter from the amazing food (I can wish that for others, it makes me feel better), and remembering all that you have to be thankful for.

I am thankful for my incredibly loving husband, crazy awesome children, very special family, really great friends and a loving Father who has blessed me with all of these amazing people in my life. And as Thanksgiving (the holiday) comes to a close, I look ahead to a wonderful Christmas Season and more memories to be made.

Now, I'm off to find those boxes....sigh.

Caleb's Creature Creations

2008-11-17T22:43:00.001-08:00

Caleb is 8 years old. He is our middle child and from very early on, we knew that God had given him a very artistic flair. From the time he could pick up a pencil, he's been drawing. Ever since he could connect two legos together, build bionicles, cut cardboard...he's been creating.

He goes through phases. First it was drawing, then it was blocks, drawing, legos, drawing, transformers, drawing, bionicles...in fact, here's one of the bionicle bosses he made up on his own last summer.

During this "phase", I would find these everywhere! They covered my desk at one point

A close-up of the face - he doesn't follow a map for these, he just makes them up

Here are a few pictures of the mask phase:

This mask actually scared Caleb's cousin - I can kinda see why

Same mask - side view

The other day, I was walking around the family room/kitchen and picking up papers and found so many pictures that Caleb had drawn THAT DAY, that I grabbed a few and took pictures. Now this has been one of my dilemmas since we first had children and I'm sure it's something that every mom deals with...where do you put all of those pictures/pieces of art that your kids bring home everyday from school or leave laying around the house? I started something quite a few years ago that has helped me with most of the boys' artwork, but I really struggle when it comes to Caleb. This is because he spits out art like nobody's business...and it's hard to choose what to keep and throw away. Yes, I DO throw some of it away.

I'm sure there are other systems that work well, but for me, I like the binders. I use page protectors and just put the artwork in by month. The one I'm showing is one of Caleb's binders and I have most of the pictures in date-ish order, but haven't put in the dividers yet. I try to make a habit of putting the date on their artwork somewhere (usually the back) so that when I go to put it in, I can keep it in order.

One of Caleb's binders, here opened to the Larry Boy Phase ~ he was 4 1/2 old when he drew this

Micah had a preschool teacher who taught ME a really cool lesson. Never assume that your kid's artwork is just nonsense or scribbling. Especially when they are little. Ask them what they drew and you'll be AMAZED at what they say. I've done this on some of my kid's artwork, putting small notes somewhere on the page.

Anyway, I snapped a few photos of the artwork I found on the bar, kitchen table and family room table just 2 days ago. All of this is from one day, and all of it is Caleb's.

Some sort of Sea Monster

Most of his pictures these days are of bosses from the video game in his head

They're getting more and more detailed

A warrior of some kind

And more...

Honestly, I don't know how he thinks of some of these

Some puzzle me a bit

And some make me giggle

And these are just a few of the pictures I found - I thought I'd spare you the 25 pictures...

I'm so thankful for the creativity of my kids and I hope that I am always able to appreciate it in them. They are each unique and special in their own way...and hopefully I'll never get too lazy to capture moments with them and of them.

Keep Your Day Job

2008-11-12T21:11:00.000-08:00

I used to be one of those career-type people who did the 8-5 job downtown in the midst of the hustle and bustle of the city. I liked it. I probably could go back to it and may someday when our kids are grown and on their own. But Steve and I have talked a lot about my working outside the home and while it's now more of a possibility than ever with the boys all in school, my time would be limited. Also, there are a lot of things involved in keeping non-profit and for-profit companies going and while I don't work a set 8-5 at home, I do work quite a bit off and on on those companies. If I went back to work, we would have to hire someone to do what I do...it kind of defeats the purpose.

The other thing we have discussed is being at home when the kids are here. While I know that there are many situations where the mom HAS to work, I am a firm believer that if she doesn't have to have someone else care for her kids, it would be better for her to do it. I won't get into that, but just wanted you to know a bit of my background.

Steve and I have been in a tough financial situation for quite a few years now. But we realize that being in the ministry usually dictates a life of want more than a life of plenty...we are ok with that. We know the sacrifice we are making, but it's way more important to us to do what God wants us to do than to have a bunch of stuff and security in something that can so quickly waft away (as evidenced by our waning economy).

However, I do have a few places where I can make money on the side and we've been talking about that more and more lately. One of the things that I do is work with my sisters and my mom. We were hired, about 4 or 5 years ago by a large non-profit company in the area, to do auction displays for their annual dinner/auction. This was a great success and since they liked us, we were asked back the next year. This led to us doing the centerpieces for their dinner in the Meydenbauer in Bellevue - 100 tables = 100 centerpieces....a huge job. From that, we have acquired a few other jobs like this, either auction displays or centerpieces and I have to say it has been so fun. We make great money and get to spend a ton of time with each other....fortunately, we all get along great and it has been a highlight for me.

Last weekend, we did the last dinner/auction for the original non-profit company as they are not making quite enough money on the event and are planning to do something different. I intended to take my camera this time since we never remember to take pictures, but I left it in my car at my parent's house. Fortunately, my sister had hers with her and snapped a few of us and the event, but sadly, her quality isn't quite what mine is....sorry Tracy. = /

Anyway, here are the few photos we were able to get. I just wanted to put them up here so that I have a memory of one of the really fun things that I get to do every year with my incredible family.

From left to right:
Me, my younger sister Lori, my older sister Tracy, and our mom

Funny side note: I own the exact same hat as Lori is wearing in this picture and actually had it on that morning with a brown sweater and tan shoes. At the last minute I changed my mind...phew. We get told we look alike enough - we don't need to start dressing identical to each other.

One of the larger arrangements for the main registration table

The actual centerpiece - I wish it was much closer. This is the first year we haven't done flowers, but we always do 3 versions for the company to choose from and they picked the non-flower one this year. It's much larger than it looks here: a hurricane with a small candle holder inside, surrounded by light-blue sparkly broken glass. The outside has silver paper with the theme logo and words written on it and the base is white and brown berries with seafoam blue ribbon intertwined and tied in a bow in the front.

The finished table

One of the additional arrangements - there were six of these on the stand up bars around the room. This was my favorite arrangement. It's beautiful.

Veteran's Day

2008-11-11T07:16:00.000-08:00

I have allowed many Veteran's Days to pass without giving them much thought. I usually give the soldiers a token prayer, our church has all of the veterans stand and we cheer for them and pray and then it's done.

However, this year I am really thinking about these men and women who have served and are currently serving our country. And today, I want to especially honor a couple of people I know who have been in or are in the military.

The first is my father. A reserved, solid rock in our family, my dad is an amazing man. If there is anyone I could point out as the most easy going, carefree and confident person...it would be him. I think my dad is the epitome of "the glass is half full" - everything is positive, everything will be ok. He loves to laugh and he is one of the most amazing whistlers I have ever heard. I'm not kidding. And I'm convinced that a whistling man is a happy man. That's how I see my father. The amazing thing is, my parents have faced a HUGE amount of adversity in their lives, but they have stood with their faith, been an amazing example to their children, family and friends and are just overall incredible people. My dad has shown that trust in God and belief in His Word makes for a great foundation for our family. I am grateful for his example.

He and my mom joke about the fact that every Veteran's Day he stands up when he never was in the U.S. military. I actually scolded them on Sunday (wow, talk about role reversal..) He served in the Royal Canadian Air Force and should stand for that. My parents grew up as and still are Canadian citizens. I am proud of my father for serving his country and risking his life for the freedom of others.

Brian was just a kid in our youth group about 13 years ago. He has always been one of my favorite people...he has this way of just bringing joy into a crowd. He laughs a lot and has an amazing personality - one that is highly contagious. And he's very loud. Honestly, you put my husband and Brian in one room together, it's very hard to think. We were actually at a restaurant the other day with a group of people and Steve and Brian sat across from me. At one point they both got up and went to the buffet table and his wife, Andrea, and I just looked at each other in awe. "Do you hear that?", I said. "Yeah, it's nice," said she. Ok, I'm over exaggerating, but it was noticeably quiet in the room and as they strolled back in, along with them came their laughter, loud voices and a considerable amount of joy - the kind I like to be around.

Brian just came back from his second tour in Iraq where he almost lost his life. He really is a walking miracle. We were fortunate to hear his story on Sunday and I am really thankful to my pastor for taking the time in the service to allow Brian to tell his story. As I listened to him speak, I realized how much I don't know about the word "sacrifice". The dictionary describes sacrifice as "the surrender or destruction of something prized or desirable for the sake of something considered as having a higher or more pressing claim." The military is all about sacrifice. Men and women walking into a life of danger, destruction, fear, horror...all for freedom. The freedom that I enjoy everyday. Their families, sacrificing their loved ones and living in fear, agony, distress...all for freedom. They do this for you and me. Because of people like Brian, we can live in liberty rather than slavery. We have independence and luxuries that we take for granted everyday.

The thing that struck me so much about Brian's story was how his experiences have changed him. I can physically see the changes in him. He is older, wiser, scarred and physically changed from the war. But as he spoke, I heard glimpses of the young Brian from our youth group peeking in through the words of Sergeant Kerrigan the soldier. War steals. It destroys and it doesn't care. It changes people. While it has taken much from Brian, I would have to say that I see a positive side to the change in him. There is a quiet confidence, and a pride that exudes from him. It makes me proud in return.

The one thing that Brian emphasized is how much the war takes from each of it's victims - whether they are there by choice or not. Those who have seen and experienced the victory, conquests, destruction, tragedy, and horrifying aftermath of the war will forever be changed. The reentry into life as we know it as normal is excruciating at times and sometimes almost impossible. Those who have loved ones to come home to, find a way to make it through this transition, but there are many who have no one to come home to and have lost their "family" of military friends and comrades.

Today, let's remember them. And if you have a way...do something more. There are so many great organizations out there doing wonderful things for our soldiers. If you know someone in the military, send them a card or a care package. If you don't, you can go through your church or school and give there. There are many ways to give - the biggest being prayer.

I am so grateful to the men and women who have chosen to serve for me. Thank you dad, Brian, Matt, Jason, Carrie, Kyle, Aaron, Ed, Roy and Dale. Thank you to your families for letting you go. I am also so thankful to those whom I don't know. I say a prayer for all of you today. May God shelter you and keep you. I pray that He encourages and blesses you. And if you are still serving in the military, I pray that you are safe from harm, protected by His covering and are soon able to safely come home to your friends and family.

On this Veteran's Day, I just encourage you to do something special for the troops. If you know of someone specific, send them a note or package. If not, you can do what we are doing this year. We sent letters to a friend in the Air Force and today, Veteran's Day, we are taking a moment to think and pray for our military men and women and send them our love through a letter. It's amazing to me how much our kids knew when we asked them about this day (yay school) and how excited they were to send their love to people they don't even know.

Here are a few pictures of the boys and their pictures/letters. I just know that God will help these get into the right hands - to the ones who need them the most.

Steve and I both wrote letters. No pictures of me since I was taking them, sorry.

The boys (obviously) making their pictures

Micah's Picture to the Armere (Army) "Thank you for fiten"

Micah

Caleb wanted to make a Striker for Brian

Caleb

Jordan's was two-sided (I'm only showing one)

Jordan

Thank you troops! On this Veteran's Day ~ we remember you!

AND THE WINNER IS.......

2008-11-03T16:35:00.000-08:00

I'm the winner of this award. I should be excited, thrilled, overjoyed and proud to win, but I have to say that this one is not coveted by all and I'm not exactly proud of it. I won this award on Friday, October 31st. Yes, three days ago I walked away with the dishonorable award entitled, "Worst costume to ever put on your kid."

I'm not kidding. It's awful. But I need to give you the background and the rundown of my day coming up to said costuming of the children.

It was a beautiful, crisp and clear Fall morning on October 31, 2008. The rain that had been promised for the night seemed to find another route and the thought that we may be trick or treating in the clear night was a great possibility. We were invited to Dane and Jen's home for their Fall Extravaganza Party (at least I think that's what it was called. Who knows, I might have just made that up).

Side note: we are procrastinators. We never used to be, but something has happened over the last few years. I could find many things to blame it on, but I'll just go ahead and be honest...I'm not as organized and proactive as I used to be. Period.

Due to this fact, we found ourselves on Halloween without pumpkins, without a costume for Micah and without the items we were to bring to the party...we had the materials needed for Micah's costume and it would only take a few minutes to put together, but Steve decided to run to the store with the boys to grab pumpkins. We were going to carve them together at the Creeks.

1 hour later...yes, I DID say 1 hour, Steve finally showed up with pumpkins. Turns out, many stores were out of them and he had to cart the kids everywhere to find some. In the mean time, we (at the party) had decided that with the kids getting antsy, we should have the dads take them around our small neighborhood while we finished getting dinner ready. This brings us to Micah's costume...

Micah wanted to be a ghost. He was a ghost last year and we were thrilled! What an easy and cheap costume! Who can't take a sheet and make it into an effective ghost? Before you answer that question, I'll do it for you. We can't. Apparently, it takes more skill than Steve and I have together to make a ghost costume. Now, in our defense, we had quite a few kids chomping at the bit to get out and trick or treat and no time to put said costume together (never mind the fact that we had weeks before Halloween to get this done)...So Steve proceeded to cut holes in our sheet, color black around the eyes and add a mouth. At the last moment Micah grabbed the marker and put stitches on the side of his "face". I suppose if the scissors had been sharp or the pen working properly, the result may not have been quite so sub-par. And honestly, I didn't realize the lack of quality on this costume until I saw the pictures yesterday and about fell off my chair.

After laughing hysterically, I cried for Micah and then proceeded to feel ashamed. Here was our adorable son, standing amongst children with cute, scary, nice costumes...well, as I usually do (because it is much more effective than words), I will let you see what I'm talking about.

poor, poor Micah...

Really. What kind of parents do this to their child? I'm assuming he never looked in the mirror because he was thrilled to be this ghost. I'm shocked really that none of the other parents said anything or gave us the "look". Maybe they just know us too well. Anyway, here is Micah amongst his friends and family, heading out to trick or treat.

Jordan, Micah, Caleb, Nyah, Gideon and Evan

Some of the "cool" parent's kids...Gideon is James the Train

Evan is Buzz Lightyear

Nyah is a Pirate

Jordan and Caleb are just scary (that's all that mattered) - we actually tried very hard to get Micah a store-bought costume, but he insisted on the ghost....oh well!

I ended up with more video than actual pictures and most of my pictures look like other people's pictures. I haven't quite figured out how to upload my video - if I do, I'll put it up. Anyway, I leave you with this last thought.

Unless you're one of those kinds of people, who can sew an amazing costume and be quite impressive with it (like that Kerr family), stick to buying your costume.

For the sake of the children....

It's coming!

2008-11-03T07:09:00.000-08:00

You would think, by now, I would put the camera cable to upload my pictures in the same place. I swear I look for it for an hour every time I need it.

Anyway...Halloween stuff is coming. Late.....

Field Trip Alert!

2008-10-23T08:02:00.000-07:00

I will admit that going to the Issaquah Salmon Hatchery wasn't on the top 10 (or even the top 1000) things to do in my lifetime. And, I will say that going on a field trip with a bus load of 3rd graders wasn't up there either...but it was the puppy eyes of a boy that drew me to do two things I wouldn't normally venture out and do.

I did try to think of every reason to get out of the event, but none were more powerful than the eyes....if you really don't know what I mean yet, here...I'll help you.

See what I mean? Brutal. Add that look to a plea for companionship to see fish and I was done. So the adventure began...

I was pleased to find out that many parents signed up for this field trip and so the only kids I had to keep an eye on were Caleb and one friend named, George.

I'm pretty sure that George thinks he's a super model. He even has the pose and the collar.

We proceeded to the bus and quite honestly, it was a decent ride over there. Of course, we HAD to sit in the very back - in the cool spot.

I'm posting a few pictures from the day. We had a great guide named Jolene who was amazing with the kids and really knew her stuff. All of the guides at the hatchery are volunteers. People who love fish....can you imagine being known for that?

Jolene, the fish woman (the best guide in the fish hatchery)

Salmon (three kinds - don't ask me to name them, it's not like I was listening)

Caleb next to the top of the fish ladder

Jolene tells about the life-cycle of the salmon

So after the tour was over, the kids' teacher told them that they had about 20 more minutes before the bus would be leaving. We were told that we could go back through the hatchery and spend time at our favorite place. Immediately, Caleb and George told me where they wanted to go - "let's go to the bridge". Such decisive kids - they obviously got a lot out of the day and were very impressed with something.

As we got to the bridge they leaned over the edge and pointed...THIS is what they wanted to come back to see. Well, they ARE boys.

A seagull eats a dead salmon

Salmon swim up the river and lay their eggs in a "nest" called a redd. Once they lay their eggs, they die. We saw quite a few dead salmon in the water, but this one washed up onto the shore...a perfect lunch for the predator.

Overall, we had a really great time - honestly. The only complaint I had was the ride home. I'm not sure if it was the fact that Sade was playing over the speakers of the bus...an odd choice for a 3rd grade crowd in my opinion, or the 5 girls in front of me singing every Hannah Montana song they could think of (at the top of their lungs) complete with hand motions (with Sade singing in the background), or maybe it was the boys right behind them who did everything they could to be as hyper and annoying as possible...I don't know. But my time with Caleb was precious. It was a beautiful day and a great field trip. I captured one moment with Caleb and even though he's squinting in the sun, I like it. =)

A beautiful day with a beautiful boy in the midst of beautiful creation....nothing's better than this!

The Death of the Dragonfly =(

2008-10-14T23:18:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, Caleb caught a dragonfly on a blade of grass and proceeded to get it home from soccer practice in a water bottle. I'm not sure when the little creature exchanged hands, but somewhere along the way, Micah became the caregiver for the mini pet. He poked holes in the lid and gave it grass to live in and while I explained that dragonflies need to FLY, it just didn't quite sink in and honestly, it slipped my mind.

A few weeks went by and as I was cleaning the house, I kept passing this empty water bottle on the stair railing. I remember thinking as I would walk past that I needed to discard of said bottle, but I just kept passing it by.

Yesterday, I finally gave it a good look and realized that this was the dragonfly home. As I discovered the deceased dragonfly within, memories of conversations over the past week came flooding back to my memory. I could recall my children talking about this dead little bug, not finding it inside the bottle, then finding it again. I thought this was a good opportunity for me to discard of its remains.

The very day I deposited the bottle into the garbage can, Micah and Caleb got off the school bus in the afternoon and their conversation was all about the dragonfly. I panicked a bit, trying to think of where it was at the time...did I take out the garbage already? Would they notice me taking the bottle out of the can? How would I explain my inconsiderate gesture? Micah then asked me if I knew the whereabouts of his dragonfly. I said, "Yes, actually, I buried it today." "You buried it mom?!?" "Well," I said, "I buried it in the garbage can - your dragonfly is dead."

Micah didn't seem too hurt or emotional about this information. And I knew from the conversations I had heard that he already knew the demise of his pet. He didn't say much more and we all went on our way. Caleb started his homework, Jordan had completed his and was playing the piano and Micah was drawing and doing crafts. As I was going through school bags and papers, I happened to look up and see what Micah had just left on the table. I said, "Micah, what's this?" "Oh mom," he said. "It's for my dragonfly. I need to bury it and this is the sign for his grave." I'd try to explain, but pictures are worth a thousand words, so I snapped one for you to see.

"RIP Pes and Joy Dragonfli"

It was just so cute, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share it with you. We will have a burial and ceremony for the dragonfly. Hopefully, I'll remember to take pictures and we can have a sequel to this sad tale. But for now, we say, "Peace and Joy Dragonfly, may you rest in peace!"

The Latest Project

2008-10-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

On Monday, Steve had the day off so he did what he usually does when he has a day off...he made a list of things he needed to get done and ran it by me. I've learned that while my input is important to him, it's really going to come down to what he FEELS like doing. I can ask him to do things around the house and I know he'll do them, but when he gets that rare day off, I want him to do what he wants to do. And since he paints all the time, I will rarely ask him to do it around here.

Lucky for me (and really for Caleb), Steve wanted to paint yesterday. This wasn't a normal painting job though, it was a faux finish idea that we had seen on one of our favorite shows to watch "Color Splash". We were excited to try it and nervous at the same time. We have painted a few faux finishes in our lifetime, but this was a different deal. We watched a video and went for it.

Caleb has wanted a space theme in his room and so we tossed around the idea of putting black on the ceiling with glow in the dark star stickers, planets on the walls, etc., but when we saw the show and saw them paint a gradient on the wall, we were in. Well, that and the fact that we had already bought blue paint. So we took our paint to the store and matched a nice navy blue to it, brought it home, mixed some together and voila! had three colors of paint. We proceeded to paint light to dark with the ceiling being dark blue, blending the colors up the wall. I'm posting pictures of the finished project even though they kinda don't show it really well. In the actual room, you can't see the brush strokes like they show up in the picture. Nonetheless, we have a happy 8 year old and proud parents who patted each other on the back.

The navy blue goes up on the ceiling

Natural Light

More of the ceiling showing and as I said, the brush strokes show up a lot more on the camera

So while I was taking pictures, I decided to take a few more of the other bedrooms and our almost finished product in our family room.

Jordan's room - he picked the colors

Another...

Micah's Room - we really do put things on the walls - we're just in mid-decorating mode

I like the windows in Micah's room

Part of our family room - Steve painted above the fireplace on Sunday. We used to have a huge mirror over the "hole" which is why there are marks on the wall we need to fix.

Our experimental faux. Again, looks better in real life. We get lots of compliments on it.

Turning around you see the kitchen and eating area - which has become my
make-shift office as of late.

Ahhh Washington...

2008-09-26T07:28:00.000-07:00

People have asked me how I can live here in the rain. While I believe that Seattle rain is misunderstood by most of the world, it truly does rain here. I don't mind so much that people are turned off at the thought of living here - it's so overcrowded already. It's just best to let them think it's a horrible place to live...

But we Washingtonians know better. We know about those days. You know the ones...the ones where you open your front door and walk out into the beauty of the Northwest, sigh and say, "THIS is why I live in Washington".

Today was just such a day. I opened my front door and there it was...

Mount Rainier from my front porch

It took my breath away. I told Jordan it was time to go and he walked outside and did exactly what I did - he gasped. I love that he was taken by the beauty of the mountain.

I took a few steps outside and looked to my left and this is what I saw there...

A beautiful Washington sunrise

I wish that my pictures could completely capture how beautiful it really was, but you get a sense. I'm so amazed at the beauty of our world, and so thankful that I live here in the northwest.

Caleb and Soccer - as promised...

2008-09-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

Caleb's pictures didn't turn out quite as great as Micah's. Ok, OK...I'll admit it - Jordan took the ones of Micah. I KNOW he's better at capturing events on film but he wasn't there, ok? It was pouring and I think I had a wrong setting on my camera. Add that to the fact that I was wearing my contacts and honestly can't see close up without my reading glasses so it was blind clicking. I'm out of excuses, so here they are....

Posing for mom.

They made them tuck their shirts in - normally not a bad thing but Caleb's shorts are a little big - not to mention they are basketball shorts - OH WELL.

Caleb in action - no really, this is his action.

He really is just about the social thing - it's way more important to talk about Bakugans!

Soccer? What? Where? I'm kidding - he played very hard and did a GREAT job. They tied this game. The final score was 2-2.

Soccer Mom

2008-09-12T11:44:00.000-07:00

I've heard the term. I even thought I was one when Jordan was smaller, but I think I'm understanding what they really mean when they say "soccer mom". This doesn't apply to the mom who has one 4 year old in soccer, one practice per week and a game on Saturday. This term applies to the mom who has 3 kids in soccer, is at the field almost every day of the week, is attending jamborees where each kid has two games in a day and wait...did we eat dinner? It applies to me. And I love it and hate it at the same time. I'm living at the soccer field - not a bad thing when I have a book and the sun is out. I'm thinking ahead though to a few weeks from now when the cold wind whips in and the rain is coming down and the shoes are muddy and it's cold and getting dark out....ugh.

Then I remember.

It's not about me. It's about these amazing boys who are getting out and doing something active. Finding out what teamwork means. Laughing with their friends, playing hard, falling, crying, cheering, feeling proud and just being boys. It's about them.

And so I have to smile. I have to think back to a time when a young girl played softball, volleyball, basketball and the parents of that girl were at every game...cheering, yelling, gasping (they didn't call me "owie" for nothing), crying with me and celebrating too. I hope my kids will remember the time I've taken for them. I will do all the same things my parents did and hopefully they will think I'm as great as I think my parents are for supporting me and making it possible for me to explore my gifts.

So, here are a few pictures of Micah's first game. Unfortunately, I had to miss most of Caleb's as they were at the same time...I'll post a few of him when I get them.

Look at that concentration!

Ummmm.....

My number 3 boy! =)

Reflection

2008-08-11T09:21:00.000-07:00

Today is Monday. It's sunny and nice - school shopping is in the air and I'm sitting here at my desk in a reflective mood. I have found myself in this place of limbo in my life. Not because it is void of richness, but because my direction is distorted at this time.

I am blessed with an amazing husband who has a calling to share God's love with people (and he's quite good at it), and yet finds himself donning painting clothes most of his days to keep food on the table. He works hard. He gives a lot. And in between jobs, either on the way there or home, and even when he gets home, he is on the phone encouraging, counseling, and loving people. He's a giver. An encourager. A lover. He's an amazing man.

My kids are a wonder to me. I look at them almost everyday and wonder how I got to be so blessed. I tell them all the time that I'm so lucky to get to be their mom. I mean that. Jordan is funny, brilliant, creative and kind. Caleb is eccentric, artistic, sensitive and joyful. Micah is brave, athletic, strong and smart. They are my boys, my family and my joy. They are a reflection of who I am and who Steve and I are guiding them to be. And I'm understanding that wonderous (haha) part of parenting where you have to let loose the reigns as they get older. Funny how you get to where you want to hold on tighter at just the time you need to loosen your grip....

My own personal life is, well, confusing right now. I'm not confused at who I am. It's not a worrisome confusion. I guess a better word would be overwhelmed and disorganized. I have always considered myself organized, but quite honestly, I'm more of an organized-wanna-be. I buy all the gadgets and supplies to be the most put-together person on the planet, but the new calendar, organizing bin, filing cabinet, etc. usually sits unopened or unused for quite some time. I'm a list maker and many times the list is all that happens, not the stuff on the list. I have good intentions. Not much follow through.

I've been spending a little more time reading and playing the piano. I wish I was like some song-writers and could just sit and write when they felt like it. It's not the case for me. I'm an environment girl and lately haven't had much of the environment I like for writing. That will change, I think - it needs to change because I find a lot of fulfillment in using my gifts.

Gaming has taken up a lot of my spare time too. I have really enjoyed getting to know a group of friends who are a big part of my life now. We spend a lot of time together - not much of it deep, but definitely fun. We joke about movies, books and each other. We are a diverse group of people with at least one common bond - killing horde. This group has really enriched my life and I really like them. Hopefully, they can say the same about me.

My mom, sisters and I are back at the auctions this fall. It's a side "job" that we do and thoroughly enjoy - mostly because we get to spend time together. I get to look forward to my times with them which are full of sharing, encouraging and tons of laughing. (for some reason, I'm much funnier around my family - either that or they get my weird humor, I don't know, but it's a big boost to my comedic ego). Also, I'm starting a new program with my neighbor, Rhonda. We are encouraging each other to eat and live healthy, exercise and I'm planning to train for yet another 1/2 marathon walk. The treadmills have been dusted off, the sweats and running shoes pulled out of their hiding places and determination is abounding. Well, not yet really, but it's welling up - I can feel it.

Well, I think I'm going to wrap this up. I was feeling a little melancholy when I started, but am a bit more jovial. That and the sun is shining. In Seattle. Always a great plus!

The Blue Angels

2008-08-06T07:59:00.000-07:00

We took off last Saturday to meet my parents at New Castle Park in hopes of seeing the Blue Angels who were in town for Seafair. We knew that we weren't in the best spot to see them, but just hoped that we would be able to catch a glimpse. The first thing I did is something I always do when we are somewhere as a family and I have my camera along...I had a family photo taken. It would have been a PERFECT one if Jordan wasn't having such a problem with his eyes. So his eyes are closed as you can see... =(

I proceeded to take a few photos of the planes as they flew out over the horizon and this is what I got...

I have quite a few more just like that one, but I'll spare you the cloud pictures. After a while, Jordan asked me if he could take some pictures. This is what he got....

Yeah, I know....I need to give up the camera and keep my day job. I have to say though that when it comes to capturing cute pics of my kids, I'm not so bad...

My parents really were there, but my pictures of them didn't turn out so hot and I know that I would be fried by my mother if I posted them for all the world to see.

It was overall a very nice event. We're hoping to plan ahead a bit more next year and try to get over to Mercer Island to really see them. Overall though, it was a fun time ~ anytime with my family is a bonus...I'm blessed. And ANYTIME Steve smiles for the camera and doesn't make some ridiculous face is a miracle! =)

Is it mid-life crisis???

2008-05-25T23:47:00.001-07:00

I've talked about it for years now, and finally, on my 42nd birthday...went and got my nose pierced. I don't know why I didn't take my camera with me, but neither Liane nor I thought of it. Yes, Liane, my amazing friend went with me for the event. She got her nose pierced too and talked so much about possibly fainting in the event that she got me all worked up. And for the record, no one toppled over.

Well I've been living with it for 4 months now and my life hasn't changed much. I don't even think my cool factor went up at all - as much as I try..... Actually, Jordan had a friend over today and he told me that I was the coolest mom he knows, but I think that had more to do with the fact that I was playing WoW at the time than the small jewel in my nose.

Anyway, this is mostly for Crystal...she made me promise to post a picture when I got it done and so here it is Crystal - four months late, but nevertheless, it's here for your viewing pleasure.

Love Tap

2007-12-15T23:08:00.000-08:00

I don't know if you know our children. Micah is our 5 year old and he is the cuddler of the family. He is definitely momma's boy and he has this way of letting me know every half hour or so that he loves me. I know, as parents, we just love those moments when our children cuddle and write notes to us or do something really special or say I LOVE YOU MOM! And Micah is that way. But he also has this thing that he does that started out funny and cute and now is very precious to me. I call it the Micah tap. It started out with this constant tapping that he would do to me. Almost to the point of annoying, if he wasn't so darned cute!!!! He'd just sit and tap, tap, tap, tap - on the head, the arm, the leg, ANYWHERE. I finally asked him what are you doing? He said that it was his love tap and he was telling me that he loved me. That progressed from the constant tapping to an occasional tap here and there and then came the day that he got tired and didn't want to get up, so he just looked at me across the room and said "tap". It's amazing how those little gestures can mean so much to you and hit you at the most needed times. I now know that when Micah walks up to me, looks me in the face and just taps me a few times on the arm, that he is saying that he loves me. Most people would overlook that or maybe not even notice it. I do.

When it comes to miracles and "God Moments" in my life, there have been so many. But I have to say that in the last three years, we have seen miracle after miracle. Most of these are financial. You have to understand that it is a MIRACLE that we are renting the house that we live in, that we are driving the van that we are, that there is a trampoline in our back yard, furniture in our bedrooms, clothes in our closets, food on our table, etc. I know you might nod your head and say, yes, God meet needs, but unless you know us, I don't think you understand that I'm being more literal than I ever have in my life. Most of everything around me and my family is a DIRECT result from a miracle and being in the ministry, we RELY on those miracles to pay our bills and feed our children. The thing that has amazed me in looking back at miracles in my life, is that God cares about the little things - like the trampoline, for instance. And the trip to Disneyland that he provided for our family a few years ago, and the hair color and cut that I want, but really don't NEED. It's easy to focus on BIG miracles, but we often skip by those little love taps from God.

I guess it is just reminding me that I have gotten so used to living by faith and relying on those miracles that I have lost the WOW factor of what God does for us everyday. I mean, if we really get down to it, the fact that we can breathe air is a miracle. But I'm talking about those unexpected moments with God that have really become familiar to me. It blows my mind that I could even get to this place. On one hand, it's cool, because I really have faith that God will supply. But I never want to lose the wonder of what he has done for us. And, to be honest, I'm sure I have passed by many opportunities to say, THANK YOU GOD!!!

I am challenging myself to stop and look at those miracles again, revisit them, if you will. To make sure that I say WOW and THANK YOU to my best friend. And to especially notice the times that He has just looked at me in the eyes, tapped me and walked away - letting me know that He is here and He loves me.

Picking out the Hays Family Christmas Tree!

2007-11-24T22:50:00.001-08:00

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving at my parents' house. We spent Thursday through Saturday there and today we went to cut down our Christmas tree. Steve and I always argue over this event as I would prefer to wait a week or two and he's always in a hurry. I'm sure one day we will have a fake tree just so Steve can put it up in July. Just kidding. My only hesitation on doing it so early is that by the time Christmas actually gets here, the tree is usually pretty dead or close to getting there. We are great at keeping water in it for the first few days and then it just goes downhill from there.

I love the smell though. Our family room smells like pine - I LOVE that.

The event is special too. We always take the boys and grab hot chocolate from Starbucks, then head out to the Christmas Tree Farm. This year we found a new place - really close to home and although we wanted to get a Noble, we ended up with a Grand. I'm actually partial to the Grand - fluffier leaves (if that's possible with needles), they are just a bit fuller and also more forgiving on their shape.

I'm so thankful for this time of year. I love the holidays, spending time with family, bundling up by the fire, playing games, doing puzzles, watching movies, laughing about life. It is definitely one of my favorite things in the world.

Check this one out

2007-10-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

I have the privilege and outright joy of playing world of warcraft. And not only do I get to play it, but I get to play it with a great group of friends. These are people whom I have really been able to get to know and I really like them. They are smart, fun, witty, talented and well, they are really good at WoW too!

Two of the people I have had the privilege to get to know have just recently put out a new podcast called The Afterburners Podcast. You can find a link to it on my side tab and I've put another one here.

This podcast is not for the faint of heart. It's not for the casual, everyday listener. You have been warned. This podcast is for the one who needs to know more about movies: new releases and great oldies, music (even though they haven't touched on this yet - I'm sure they will soon), video games, comics, DVD releases, TV shows, etc. So, if you're into that sort of thing - and maybe even if you're not, but would like a fun 45 min to an hour of listening pleasure, hop on over and check it out. =D

I really think these guys need to start paying me for all of my efforts....

There IS life after taxes

2007-10-17T14:56:00.001-07:00

As the fumes of taxes slowly waft away (and yes, they are fumes - not nice ones in fact), I sit in wonder at all the things available to me. I'm talking about all the things that have been neglected or pushed aside to make room for the swear word beginning with "T".

It is day 4 of freedom for me and I think I'm just rising out of the mist....finding my place again in this world. I have had a chance to now look around and find out that yes, I am still living in a house and yes, it's MUCH messier than I even imagined. And so it begins....

I have discovered that while I always thought myself to be a great multitasker, I am exactly the opposite. I am a project oriented woman. I start on something and need to finish it before I can take up another. That doesn't bode well when your project takes 2 months as my taxes did. So, now that I can see again, I have discovered that I never hung all of my pictures when we moved in 3 months ago, my bedroom still has boxes, piles of clothes in the corners and looks atrocious. My kids are digging through boxes to find their hotwheels and I am feeling very bad for them.

So today began a new journey for me. That being a quest to find a home inside this house. And who do you call at such a time as this? No, not ghost busters, MOM!!! My mom is an amazing woman. She can transform a mess into order faster than anyone I know. She sweeps in (pun intended), transforms and moves out before I even know what happened. So my dear mother showed up this morning and even with a herniated disc in her back (at least this is what they think it is...), I am finding that what was a mess, now has some order to it. Pictures are on the walls, my dining room floor is empty of clutter, the kids' craft closet is, is, ok, well, you can walk in there now. You can actually see the floor!

And with this adventure in organization and design begins a new quest for me. To find a cozy, happy place amidst all of this junk. I was once told that our home has always been a warm, inviting family place, fun to visit. I was even told once that it looked like it came right out of a Pottery Barn catalog. I'm thinking that's a compliment and I'd kinda like to find that place again.

Now if I can only talk one amazing painting man to put some color on the walls, I think my life of decor will be complete. I'm not holding my breath though. And who can blame the one who paints all day for not wanting to pick up another brush when he gets home? I'm kinda thinking that I might have to do it. I'll let you know how that goes - it might make for a good comedy. :)

Cell Phones Don't Work When They Get Wet

2007-10-04T18:41:00.000-07:00

So, I'm washing dishes today - by hand, STILL! and trying to talk to my sister at the same time...it wasn't going so well, so I decided to get my headset from my office and use it with my cell phone so I could be "hands-free". All was well, until I leaned over to put a dish on a towel and I heard a "plop". Yes, it truly was my cell phone. I was quite happy at first because everything seemed to be fine. Until a few moments later, I heard crackling, and buzzing and my phone went dead.

That was 3 hours ago. It's still dead. :( I'm hoping it will dry out and be ok. I mean, how many times has Steve dropped something electronic in a body of water? Well the answer is MANY. And most of those things ended up being fine. I think. I hope.

I blame the dishwasher delivery man.

Edit: My phone works...partially. I can only receive and send text messages, but I can't hear them coming in - I have to put my phone on vibrate. Please pray for complete recovery. I don't think I have inn-sewer-ants. = /

Ode to a Dishwasher Delivery Man

2007-10-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

Delivery man, oh delivery man.....

where are you?

No, really. Where are you?

You're Reading What?!?!?

2007-10-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

My siblings and I didn't have it so bad when we were growing up. Our parents had enough money - and for a time there, they had more than enough. My dad had a prosperous construction business and we had pretty much everything we needed. And wanted. I would have to say we were a bit spoiled. My mom cleaned our rooms, made our beds, etc after we left for school and there were times when I would come home to find a new outfit, including purse and shoes laid out on my bed.

We were allowed to watch most of the shows on TV, and to be quite honest, there really wasn't much on TV that was bad. They didn't have to do a lot of screening. I was even allowed (this is shocking, you might want to sit down) to watch Bewitched. I really liked that show and didn't really think of Samantha as a witch. I just thought it was pretty cool.

I grew up in a Christian home, my sisters, brother and I all seemed to turn out ok. (depends on who you ask)

It wasn't until I went to Bible College and started getting "religious" that I discovered all the bad things in life. Dungeons and Dragons was of the devil. Harry Potter books? Just a tool to get kids into witchcraft. Pokemon Cards - EVIL!!! etc., etc., etc. Now I'm sure there are some people who have gone too far with stuff like this and maybe they HAVE turned into witches. I would venture to guess that they probably would have found that path with or without these "evil tools". I really got caught up in all of the bashing. I didn't go out of my way to bash or petition or anything extreme, but I jumped on the bandwagon without even finding out who was driving and where it was going.

About 6 years ago, we were visiting our friends in Wisconsin. Two of the "Godliest" people that Steve and I know. They are pastors, mentors, amazing parents, amazing friends and we just respect them like crazy. It was at their house that I rediscovered a love for reading. The wife in this family is an avid reader and I mean AVID. She is always reading, from fiction to history to historical fiction, fantasy, biographies, etc. You name it, she reads it. And on our last visit to see them, she mentioned that she had read all of the Harry Potter books and was reading them to her grandchildren. At first I was shocked. "I can't believe she would read those books", I thought. And then I really thought about it. Have I ever read one to find out if they're good? Have I ever asked someone whom I respect and look up to what they thought of them? No. I have always just assumed that what people say about them is true. So, right there, I asked. Not only did she tell me about what she was reading and the importance of imagination and fantasy, but I could almost touch her extreme love for literature right there in the room. It was practically tangible. And something happened to me there. I determined then and there to do three things....

First, I would read more and broaden my spectrum of literature. "Readers are leaders", I've always heard it said. I really believe that. We have gotten so lazy in our society, we have moved away from reading, imagination, thinking! As a friend of mine said the other day, you hear it all the time when people read a good book, "that would make a great movie!" And I agreed with him when he said that some books are just meant to be read. We're lazy, we want to be entertained. What's wrong with just reading a great book and leaving it there. I've definitely had a few great books tainted by an attempt at a movie....Eragon comes to mind....

The second thing I decided that day, was to not always take people's word for things. Even if I respect them. I'm a lazy person by nature, not very self-driven. I have found that a lot of my life I have just agreed with people and assumed they were right. Sad, but true. I'm a steady personality, don't like to rock the boat. But this has really deterred me from a lot of things in my life. A lot of "discoveries" if you will. I decided there in Wisconsin that I would pick up books and read them and decide for myself if they were good or not. At that time, I didn't start reading Harry Potter, but I threw out my preconceived ideas and judgments of people who did.

The last thing I promised to myself that day is that my kids would be lovers of books. I have to admit that I haven't been the best at instilling this in them, but I have made attempts. I take my kids to bookstores a lot and we never walk out empty handed. I see the benefit of reading and of imagination. My goodness, Caleb is writing a book and it's probably around his 20th. Granted, they are mostly pictures, but wow, I love that imagination.

So, here I find myself today with two books on my nightstand that would never have been there 10 years ago. I would have probably "wondered" about the person that was reading them. One is about witches. The other is about, hmmm, witches. My friend (thank you Nate!) introduced me to Terry Pratchett and he is probably going to become one of my favorite authors of all time. I have never laughed so much when reading. My husband is actually really happy that I'm laughing more. And, yes, Harry Potter has finally made it to my nightstand. I am excited about reading it and forming my own opinion.

And we'll have to see how it turns out, but I just might be ok after I finish these two series. I'm pretty darn sure I won't turn into a witch. But if you're worried, you can check on me from time to time. Beware though, I might just talk you into reading something you never thought you would. And you probably will thank me!

Name Contest

2007-10-02T09:43:00.000-07:00

Alright, the name of my blog is driving me crazy. I can't seem to think of anything creative, so I'm asking you (my 3 readers), to help me think of something better. The good news is, nothing will be worse than what it already is, so you can only go up from here.

Please give me your suggestions...the only rule is: no use of the word mom or mother anywhere in the title. Too overdone!

Thanks!

Ode to a Dishwasher

2007-09-26T22:07:00.000-07:00

Oh dishwasher, my dishwasher
You have betrayed me
How I long for you to do that thing you do....work

I am saddened and weary from crying
Longing for you to do your thing again
It is silent, silent, silent in my kitchen

My hands are turning to raisins,
wrinkled, water logged and weary
I yearn for you to come back to me

And yet I find that you are gone forever
Broken, to never be again
How can this be? I am crushed

A new one must come and take your place
and yet, it will not be the same
I shall miss you, I DO miss you.

Must this torment go on? Must I suffer so?
How long must I do things the old fashioned way?
For now, I will go buy paper plates.

Laughter is like a medicine.....or a virus

2007-09-25T18:04:00.000-07:00

I LOVE book stores! I always have. I get giddy when I go in one and I just don't want to leave. I used to take my kids there after school at least once a week and make them follow me around while I gathered a varied selection to take to the children's department. I would sit and read while they did the same. It was fun.

We have moved and are now about 40 minutes from the nearest bookstore. This makes me sad. Nevertheless, I woke up this morning, looked at the gray skies and decided it was the perfect day for a bookstore. (what day isn't?) So, I donned my jeans, tennies and sweatshirt (you gotta be comfy for this kind of venture), got the kids off to the school bus and headed out to the store. I did what any wise person does when they first get there....I bought a latte at the neighboring Starbucks. With coffee in hand, I headed to the fantasy section as I was very excited to pick up the next book in the series that I'm reading. I found it right away, and with much glee, headed to the comfy chair to settle in for an hour.

Side note: I will never understand why they put these big comfy chairs in the middle of the store, in groups of two facing each other....it just creates awkward moments.

So, enter awkward moment number one. I'm sitting and enjoying the beginning of my book, a chuckle here and there, and a gentleman in a suit sits down opposite me with his coffee and a smart person magazine. So, I'm sitting there reading and am completely conscious about this person opposite me. He keeps looking up at me - probably to see what I'm reading because I can't stop smiling. It's funny, ok? Which just makes me try to not smile and that makes me smile more. It's a vicious cycle. As I'm sitting there, wishing he will get up and leave, he does, quite suddenly. And again I am alone. Did I mention that it's a funny book?

Ok, so just as I'm really getting into my story, in walks awkward moment number two. Two college guys. One plops down in front of me, while the other pulls up a chair to the side. They're reading magazines. Not the kind I would read. It's at about this moment that I come to a quite funny part in my book. Well, actually, it's a VERY funny part and I start to giggle. Feeling a bit self conscious, I bury myself even further into my book which actually gets even funnier and causes me to move from giggling to outright laughing. Trying to not be a distraction, I attempt to stifle my laughter and realize that I either need to pull myself away from the book and get myself together (which involves looking up, but I still should have done it) or dig in a little deeper to my story. I choose the latter and immediately regret my decision. I have tears now. Tears streaming down my face and I can't stop laughing. At this point, I have decided that I am a disruption to the store and to myself and I need to leave.

I managed to gather my things and make it to the front where my third and final awkward moment happens. Through my teary eyes (which does a number on my contacts - basically, I can't see at all), I attempt to write a check for my purchase and communicate with the store clerk (I didn't do well) - all while the sweet little lady behind the counter is looking at me quite quizzically.

Finding myself alone in my car, I finally just let loose and laugh, quite loudly, with a lot of tears. It really was like a virus...I couldn't get rid of it. Five minutes down the road, I'm still laughing. And as I told the story to Steve later on, I re-laughed all over again.

So, I guess some viruses are worth having. I probably just needed to laugh today - and maybe be humbled, I don't know. I do know that I had a pretty good day. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to go and read that book (and hopefully, I won't wake Steve up with my laughing)

=D

A Place of Discovery (i hate this title, but couldn't think of anything else)

2007-09-08T08:17:00.001-07:00

The cyberspace world is fascinating to me. In the few years that I have been "surfing the web", I have realized how the attraction for this whole new world has grown. People who don't use the internet don't understand the depths and wonders that it beholds for the average joe. Here is a world where anonymity can reign, faults can be hidden and strengths can abound. And not many people know what is true and what is not. I mostly think that it is a place where the truth comes out...where you begin to see the real side of people and are either pleasantly surprised or greatly shocked.

I will be an example. Most people, upon meeting me, see a quiet, reserved mother of three who runs a few businesses out of her home, plays and sings music, is involved in her local PTA and church, and is overall a normal wife and mother. Now, those who really know me (family and friends), know that this is just the surface of me and while it is all true, there is something much deeper to my life. Well, I guess some of it would be shallower, depends on who you ask.

People who really know me, know that I am silly quite often. I love to make people laugh, especially my kids. Those closest to my heart are well aware that the later at night it gets, the weirder I get. Perhaps it is because I have a husband who draws all the attention of every crowd, that people are surprised when they see this side of me. Honestly, it's always there, it just gets overshadowed by the greater (and louder) comic.

Those who know me the most, know that I love God, I'm crazy about my family, I like to read, do crossword puzzles, really HARD jigsaw puzzles, I like to play softball and volleyball, LOVE music and I'm an avid gamer.

While I would love to go off on a tangent on all the video games I love and have loved over the years (I think my sister and I logged 100s of hours when Mario first came out on Nintendo. Our whole Christmas vacation was spent saving the Mario World), I'd like to get back to my topic. I say all this to say that as people peruse my facebook and myspace, they get a glimpse into the deeper parts of my interests. Somethings they would have never known if this avenue of communication were not available.

The greatest thing I find about cyberspace is that it's a place of discovery. A place to share your silliest and/or deepest thoughts. It's a wonderland of exploration. An avenue to people's lives - many people you would have never had the chance to meet, let alone get to KNOW them. It's a place to discover the amazing.....about yourself, places, things and people. And obviously, if you are reading this, you have made a little discovery too.

So, thanks for reading. I'm glad to give you a little glimpse into my life and thanks for letting me into yours. I guess I'll see you around - hopefully a lot. Until then....

A Day at the Zoo

2007-09-02T20:11:00.001-07:00

We spent the afternoon at the zoo today. It was perfect weather and a really nice time with Steve's sister. She snapped a photo of our family and other than Steve's goofy face (what's new?), it seemed to turn out ok. So, I thought I'd just share the love...

Blah, Blah, Blog

2007-09-01T23:44:00.000-07:00

Now really! How many people do you think have used that as a title for their blog? I'm sure I'm number 18374938573857. It's just a ho, hum day for me. I'm taking a break from Azeroth while my sister-in-law is in town. Going through a bit of withdrawal, but it's all good.

Today was pretty fun. We kinda hung out around the house this morning. I laid on the hammock at about 9 am, a little breezy, but nice. Then I woke up at 10. Weird. I don't take naps, especially outside in the sun - a little unusual for me, but it is what it is and it was nice.

Anyway, this afternoon we took the boys down to Gene Coulon Park and let them play in the water. Steve and the boys built a sand castle and Keri and I watched from a blanket in the sun. After that, we all threw a football around and played a little soccer. It was really fun. After that, we went out to dinner at Jimmy Mac's. I like that place and the boys think it's cool that you can eat peanuts and they WANT you to throw the shells on the floor. Micah was looking up at the TV and said, "Oh, the Mariners are on!". Steve said, "No, Micah, that's football, the Mariners are a baseball team." Micah then said, "Oh right, my bad!" <-----whatever! Where does this kid get this stuff? I'm beginning to think that I'm going to have to screen everything that goes in his ears every minute of every day. He remembers phrases like that and puts them in the right context. A little scary for a 5 year old. Anyway, we got a great laugh out of it.

We spent the rest of the evening relaxing at home and watching an old video. It was hilarious. Steve's friend sent him a tape (yes, a tape) of Steve's first camp in Wisconsin. Complete with rapping to a drum machine and duets by Steve and me. It being 1988, it was hilarious to see our hair and outfits. My hair took up a few seats on it's own I think - BIG HAIR AND PERMS EVERYWHERE. It was a little stroll down memory lane - a little TOO far back if you ask me. Well, we had a great laugh over it.

So, I have completed my evening by perusing a few myspaces and writing this here little blog. Not too terribly exciting, but a full, fun day nonetheless.

Oh, I did manage to pick up one thing today - a sunburn - on my face. Oops!

The book WAY outweighs the movie

2007-08-30T23:44:00.000-07:00

I'm reading a few books and one thing that I have been doing for about a year now is reading with Jordan (technically, TO Jordan). We have read Eragon and are now working through Eldest. I made that sound like a chore - man these books are good. So, of course, when Eragon came out in the theaters, Jordan and I were excited. He really liked it, but boy was I disappointed. There were definitely some great parts to the movie, but overall, I felt like they just really didn't do justice to the book. Maybe LOTR has ruined that for me as those movies are my favorite of all time and they didn't disappoint me one tiny bit after reading the books.

I say all this to say that if you haven't read Eragon, go pick it up. You don't have to be a kid, it's a great read and I highly recommend it. After you do, let me know what you think. If you've already read it - you're welcome to give your comments for or against it too.

Anyone?

2007-08-30T23:42:00.000-07:00

Well, I've moved my blog here and since doing so, I've only received two comments. So, I'm just making sure I didn't lose my whole viewing audience. (come on, 5 of you...where are you?). I suppose I could treat it more like a journal and not worry about comments. Just curious if anyone's reading - if you are, just send me a quick note to say you're there. :)